Kismet.

[Rodney Mills]

My life has been split into almost two parts. My childhood, adolescents, and up to mid adulthood were miserable. The only redeeming factor was the almost five years I spent in the M.N., that's why I signed-on this site. I left a miserable home, was forced to take control of my life and was thoroughly trained in classical cooking with much thanks to the U.C.L. catering school which help me raise myself from a galley boy to the president and C.E.O. of a multi national catering company. I had a miserable marriage for 24 years, 8 months and five days (but who's counting) to a woman who forgot our humble beginnings in England, her parents rented house in Edmonton, Middlesex, didn't have indoor plumbing, but an outhouse and a tin tub hanging from a nail in the wall that was used by the family on Friday night whether it was needed or not. From this life style she evolved to living in home set on almost three acres of forest land in the equivalent of London's stock-broker belt and credit card in hand forgot her less than humble beginnings. Thank God we split our assets and our miserable shared existence,.

Then came the magic moment that changed my life 180°. I met the love of my life. I remember clearly how I proposed to her. She is ten years younger than me and being a female had a three year life expectancy advantage which together meant thirteen years at least of being a widow. Secondly I told her I intended to quit my job and retire in five years time (I was forty-three at the time) and sell my house, cash in, and travel for at least ten years before settling down. She said yes to getting married and jumped at the idea to retire and later pointed out that she had savings too and could sell her house and jointly we could pull the plug sooner than five years, which we did and enjoyed thirteen years of travel before purchasing our home twenty years ago in South Carolina.

This has been the second half of my life, the perfect wife, a lovely home on the banks of a canal between two lakes with a nature reserve the other side of the canal. My own dock and a twenty foot pontoon boat and could fish for large mouth bass no more than fifteen feet from my bedroom or dining room window. We could sit eating our meals and watch animals come out of the nature reserve and (deer) graze, alligators just lazing on the banks and many other species too. Now that's a long, long way from Walthamstow, London where I was born.

My wife and I spent 24hrs x 7days a week together all but three days, during which I managed to lose it with my step-mother and father while in England causing an irreparable rift (which I'm not sorry about), consequently, she swore never to let me out of her sight again, and I couldn't be happier.

This is the hand that fate had dealt me.

Until this past January.

Without going in to details, she started to feel not quite her usual self. We went to a doctors about it, he couldn't find any cause so sent us to a specialist, same story and sent up the medical chain to another specialist and so on until the final one last January. That's when fate had a good laugh at my complacency and kicked me in the balls.

My beloved wife, partner, greatest friend and my whole reason for being has a decease that is terminal within five to six years....However, she is missing a gene which drastically shortens the odds, they give her eighteen months to live, that is with a regime of drugs that will "maintain a quality of life. " This week alone we have spent six out of seven days in hospital while she undergoes treatment and blood infusions..."Quality of life?"

Due to the fact that the area we live in and love only has a rural hospital, this means we must sell our wonderful home and move to a closer city with a very good hospital system and an apartment. I must divest myself not only of our home, but boat, fishing gear, wife's toys too, furniture not fitting into an apartment, over five hundred books, numerous paintings, antiques, almost everything, just keeping the bare essentials. I will even have to sell our car as it's a stick-shift with me being eighty plus and moving to city traffic, an automatic would be better for me.

What I will do without her I cannot comprehend at the moment, this was not part of my master strategic plan, remember I was firmly convinced I would go first.

So, ship mates, the next sixteen months are dedicated to my beloved, to make her as comfortable as I can and spend every moment with her. I will continue to do what I have been doing since January, grabbing a quick peek to see what's up, so this is my last post. So I'm not jumping ship, I'm signing off.

Good luck, smooth sailing and a safe harbor.

Rodney Mills R 602188

[Shaun Gander]

Not sure how to respond to this other than to say enjoy what time you have together and I'm pretty sure that I speak for everyone when I say we're here if you need to talk.

I'm probably the closest to you physically but still too far to be of practical help. PM if you want my number.

SDG

[Harry Nicholson]

I feel for you, Rodney, and hope that the future for yourself and your good lady becomes easier.
Harry

[Chris Allman]

I am really lost for words Rodney. I cant imagine what you both must be going through at this particular moment in time and I cant really imagine what it would be like to lose my beloved, although I can guess. I can only echo Harry in saying that my dearest hope is that things may get easier for you both and that the remaining time that you have together may be filled with happier moments than they are now and memories which will comfort both of you. I hope that perhaps you wont sign off completely but call in from time to time to see what is going on and perhaps talk to us all if it may help you. Take care, my thoughts are certainly with you both. Chris.

[j.sabourn]

Rodney like all the others I read your post with anguish for you and your beloved partner. All the compassionate and notes of sorrow for you both will not be what you want to hear , as would rather what was happening wasn’t. Most of us won’t know how to reply to your post as however we do reply will seem totally inadequate. Death is the one sure thing in life and when it does come we are never really prepared for it. Our own deaths pale into insigniigance when it is a beloved partner and best friend who is going first and you have to stand by hopelessly and unable to change fate. You have always sounded like a well adjusted person with a well organised and happy life style and already this will have started to change. No one can give you advice because most of us dread the same thing happening to themselves. There are others on the site however who will have been through the same anguish as you are now going through and will know what exactly your feelings really are. We don’t worry too much about ourselves when the dice fall the wrong way but we do when it comes to loved ones. You will have many mutual friends I surmise and if true friends will rally around you , but no one can carry the grief you will be carrying. People can share part of that grief but they can’t carry it for you. So those who want to commiserate with you may find it impossible to put into words . All we can say we are thinking of you both. Best regards John S....

[vic mcclymont]

Rodney, Like Chris, I am truly lost for words, I hope that things do getter for your wife.
Vic

[Doc Vernon]

Hello Rodney
I can only echo what has been said here and wish you and yours well for the future,as it has been said a very hard post to ut anadequate reply to.
We are all here thinking of you ,so just take care and hopefully things will turn out better tah expected.
Sincerely
Doc Vernon

[Keith at Tregenna]

Thoughts are with you and yours.

Regards,

Keith.

[Des Taff Jenkins]

Hi Rod.
All I can say is thanks for all your posts, including the ones where you detailed the walks you two did, and hope that wherever you end up that you will be able to still cherish your time together even more.
Cheers Des

[happy daze john in oz]

Rodders, there is nothing words can say that will ease your situation.
All I can do is wish you and your beloved lady all the luck and help in the world.
Medical science is daily making inroads to so many matters, so hang in there and never ever give up.
Life is not always kind to us, we never know what is around the corner, so make the very best of what time there is left.
Stay strong mate, not just for your self but for your lady and all around you.