Winter warning

[Captain Kong]

She is right, I have now discovered that cause as well.
Cheers
Brian

[John Gill]

viagra ( or it's derivitive) is now on sale in Tesco at £52 for eight tablets, subject to a blood test and some questions re diabetes high cholesterol and hypertension. Don't know what strength they are, (they come(oops!) in three strengths 25, 50 and 100mg. I know i shouldn't but......... every little helps....!!

[Captain Kong]

I have only had one,
The blood was pounding through my head I thought I was going to have a thromby, gasping for breath, I said to HER , forget it. I was risking my life just for a leg over, Cant beat the memories much easier to think of what I had done than to do it all again.
Binned the others
Brian

[John Gill]

Has your bin been emptied yet? what day is your collection?

[Captain Kong]

Too late John
The bin was emptied ten years ago.
All the Bin Men were rampant amongst the house wives around here./

[robpage]

I don't know about the bin men , but 25 years in the Dairy industry some of the Milkmen had a rosta of weekly calls , they had more leg over than a centipede on a roller coaster .

[happy daze john in oz]

Now you poor sods up in the north have got to put up with a bit of cold, and I thought you were all men. I can remember the bad winters when wec all sat around a candle because the electric was off, then when it got real cold we had to light it. What about us poor buggers down here in Oz, summer coming and if it is like last year it will cost me a fortune. So bloody hot most days I had to sit on the beach sucking stubbies all day, and believev me when I tell you the price of beer is not going down.

[happy daze john in oz]

About this time of the year, older taxpayers will again be receiving another 'Winter Fuel’ payment.
This is indeed a very exciting programme and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is a 'Winter Fuel’ payment ?
A. It is money the government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase gas and electricity...or a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.K. Economy by spending your 'Winter Fuel’ cheque wisely
* If you spend the money at Asda or Tesco, the money will go to China , Taiwan or Sri Lanka
* If you spend it on petrol your money will go to the Arabs
* If you purchase a computer it will go to India , Taiwan or China
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala
* If you buy an efficient car it will go to Japan or Korea
* If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan
* If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore Instead.

Keep the money in the UK by:

1. Spending it at car boot sales
2. Going to night clubs
3. Spending it on prostitutes
4. Buying beer or whisky
5. Getting yourself a Tattoo
6. Visiting a bookie

(These are the only businesses still operating in the U.K. )

Conclusion: Be patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a car boot sale and drink beer day and night !
No need to thank me...just glad I could be of help.

[Louis the Amigo]

Hi Shipmates, Hi Robpage ref milkman my mate Del was a milkman for 40 years , he is still super fit at 79yrs he has been married 3 times, has many grand children his girlfriend is 40yrs I remember her when she was a baby, her brother was a mate he died young in a car accident, Del dont need any blue tablets to do the business, he is the only one in our club who has no medical conditions..... not bad at 79 yrs

[robpage]

They are a great breed the proper milkman , they ll had two jobs the Milk round 4:00 to 11:00 Am except collecting money of Fridays , and most had an afternoon job , decorator , window cleaner , petrol pump attendant , and such like , they walked up and down drives of at least 100 houses so walked 7 to 8 miles a day from the float to the doorstep and back , quite a few had regular , tea stops , and a quickie whilst the tea cooled . As summer approached the Health and safety committee ran through every accident in the preceding month and the warmer weather bought Dog bites , sometimes two or three a week as the days heated up . One old timer never had ever been bitten , so someone was detailed to find out why , he had an anti dog device , the twelve bottle wire carrier full of bottles across the dogs nose apparently deterred them from biting , some concerned member of the committee thought that he should be reported to the RSPCA . I thought he should be praised for using his initiative .