Pulling a double-shift now.

[Rodney Mills]

I was going to call this post, "Wives appreciation day." but then I'm sure all those men in a happy relationship with their wife or significant other appreciate them. The verb appreciate just doesn't seem to cut it when the boom gets lowered on you. Life in my "partnership" consisted of cleaning my boat and keeping it shipshape for the once or twice a year my wife came out on the lake to read while I fished.

The once she tried her hand at fishing, I pulled every trick I knew to make sure she caught fish and I didn't. I secretly chummed bait around her rod when she wasn't looking, made all the wrong moves when I hooked a fish to loose it. But it was a one off deal, she quit fishing while she was ahead ( and bragged about her catches for ever after).

Today. I Stripped the bed. We have two single mattresses on a king size bed. First it's separate the two halves, easy taking the fitted sheets off, but a bummer putting them back on when laundered. And rotating the linens and towels, as she did, is a bitch. She could fold a fitted sheet in a couple of minutes, I still can't figure out how to fold them after five months and multiple times watching some Shelah on TV supposedly teaching me how to fold them so they look neat. It took me almost fifteen minutes each mattress to get them on right and another fifteen to fold those freshly laundered, they still look like a heaped pile of laundry. So with the bed linens and all the white laundry that's one load, another load was bathroom towels, kitchen linens, and light coloreds, the third was darks. half were hung up on a cloths horse to dry, the others in the dryer (three loads). She had double laundry, her and me, I just have my laundry. Then it's push back the two halves and getting them lined up just so.

Then it's cooking every day, make the bed, tidy up. Thursday it was wash and wipe the glass tables and dust chairs, clean and disinfect two bathrooms, Friday was vacuum and wash floors, tomorrow Sunday it's shopping. As I've said many times, I don't consider myself a stupid person, and I knew a good deal when I had it and showed appreciation, but I should have got down on my knees and salaamed before her every sunrise, noon, and sunset. To use an Americanism...It sucks now.

Still how many of us paid off a good ship with a great crew, and then signed on to the next and found misery and discontent. I know I did once, but I didn't willing sign off of this one, I was willing on board for life. I still can't accept the fact that missing a gene, like my wife had, sunk the "good ship lollypop".

Rodney

[Ken Norton]

Rodney, I have to reply to your post as I feel it would be uncaring not to do so. I do not pretend to say I know how you feel but after losing a daughter of 16 years several years ago now: that I have a feeling of your deep pain and despair evident to me in our post. It is all about the things and memories that you both shared my friend. None of these can be taken away by anyone, they are indelible to you both. You obviously had a great caring marriage which is sorely missed by you, a relationship to be admired by many in today's swamp. I remember how people (friends) crossed to the other side of the street when they saw my wife and me for fear of not knowing what to say, among many other heartaches I can only wish you strength and care my friend. Stay strong Kenny

[Denis O'Shea]

Ken, you have put into words what everyone on this great site feel towards Rod and his memories. Rgds Den

[happy daze john in oz]

Memories, like the corners of my mind..................

I know a couple of guys, one a brother in law the other my best mate I sailed with, in similar situations. Both lost their other half this time last hear.
I have often wondered how it would be like if I ended up in that situation, from what they tell me just one word 'Hell'.

After years, often more than 50, it is hard to comprehend how life could be on your own.
No matter how many other family members you may have the very best for you is no longer there.

Rodders, hang in there mate, don't worry about the sheets once in bed you will not see them.
As to the rest, one thing I know is that after a life in hospitality the rest comes easy.

[Rodney Mills]

Victoria.

I forgot to mention that the two single king size mattress are a set of special individually adjustables, like what they have in hospitals. Each individual can go from fully reclined to sitting up with legs raised and to any position in between. They were very expensive. My wife liked just a slight elevation, whereas I like more (eases my back problem), and we thought if down the road, one of us became bedridden, and needed to sit up in bed, we would need that feature.

No I'm stuck with messy folded sheets I'm afraid. I've come up with a partial solutions. I uncover the bedspread on just my side of the bed for a one week, so I only have to make half a bed in the morning. Next week I switch sides and sleep in what was my wife's side for a week, now I only have to change the sheets every two weeks instead of every week and make half the bed daily. So far I'm grinning.

On Thursdays I cook in bulk. I make a big pot of spaghetti sauce and chili and beans ( get about seven meals out of each, and portion pack them and individually freeze them. I pick up a couple of ready fresh cooked chickens from the supermarket, and portion them into individual meals for one and freeze them too, and other similar meals (meatloaf etc.). And other than Thursday it's put a big hole in my fixing dinner time. I'm slowly getting my act together with this homemaking business. Old Chinese expression. "Slowly, slowly, catchee monkey."

A little bit of "cheers", Rodney (cant find an icon of a sunglass monocle)

[happy daze john in oz]

Victoria, training the lady in the household is never an easy task.
When we had a lawn it took me about four years to train her to use the mower.
The the drought came so up came the lawn and down went the pavers, stones and lots of suculents.
She is now trained to use the long handled loppers as well as the shears.
As to a hammer, well I am not sure that would be a good idea, not having any hair on my head leaves it vunerable.
She has learned how to roll up the hose, but has yet to learn how to wash the cars.
But she is a bit smart, tells me to get the fuel for the vehicles as she says I can always get it cheaper than her!!!!!!!

[Louis the fly]

I began rowing my own boat in June. With only one set of oars life is far from easy. Some days I feel I am rowing against the wind, tide and currents, not making headway. I have found I can deal with major problems, in fact I welcome them as they give me a strength and purpose. Little everyday things can be harder, an idea or thought cannot be shared. Housework and maintenance comes naturally, we all tended to be clean and tidy at sea with a pride in our appearance and surroundings. I haven't mastered shopping yet, walking around a supermarket in circles trying to find the things I need.
We all react in different ways there is no advice to give to others in the same position.

[Brenda Shackleton]

oh dear, Rodney. Fitted sheets are a total NIGHTMARE- to fold , to iron, to 'fit' on the bed. Far too much wasted energy. Large double/king size FLAT sheet is much easier. You already know the trick of sleeping on one side and then the other. Duvet covers ?!! They are even worse. I always use a top sheet as well. Top sheet to bottom sheet on bed change day. Duvet gets a bit of a fluff-up and the cover changed every * weeks ( won't say how long in case you think that I am a slovenly housewife......)
Regards
Brenda

[Rodney Mills]

Brenda, what's an iron, does it have to do with weight lifting? As in pumping iron?

Just kidding. I consider the wrinkles are out of the sheets at the end of the week, though I'm not overweight (22 B.M.I.). all the wrinkles are gone, then they get washed and the cycle begins again.

I still am kidding.

My wife hated ironing so she always bought non-iron stuff. I have an iron and an ironing board in a cupboard and plan to donate them, I just haven't got around to it yet. Be a while though as I am in hibernation. And think I will be for the foreseeable future, as the virus is pretty bad over here.

Cheers, Rodney

[Tony Taylor]

Brenda, what's an iron, does it have to do with weight lifting? As in pumping iron?

Just kidding. I consider the wrinkles are out of the sheets at the end of the week, though I'm not overweight (22 B.M.I.). all the wrinkles are gone, then they get washed and the cycle begins again.

I still am kidding.

My wife hated ironing so she always bought non-iron stuff. I have an iron and an ironing board in a cupboard and plan to donate them, I just haven't got around to it yet. Be a while though as I am in hibernation. And think I will be for the foreseeable future, as the virus is pretty bad over here.

Cheers, Rodney

Rod, it took me years to convince my wife that dhoby draws did not need ironing, ha ah.