Someone else’s joke.

[j.sabourn]

I went to the bottle shop the other day on my bicycle , bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the basket of the bicycle.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fall off the bicycle the bottle would break, so I drank all the scotch
then rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision , because I fell off my bicycle seven times on my way home.
JS

[Johnny Kieran]

:d :d :d

[Johnny Kieran]

Thought they'd come up as smilies

[j.sabourn]

What’s the :d :d :d. Johnny Doomed Damned and Drunk ? JS

[Doc Vernon]

No No ! Doddler, Dormant and Dilly!! LOL

[j.sabourn]

Benefits of a good Vocabulary……..I recently called an old engineering buddy of mine and asked
what he was working on these days.
He replied that he was working on “ Aqua-Thermal treatment of ceramics,aluminium and steel under a constrained enviroment”.
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry , I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his
wife’s supervision.
JS.

[Les Woodard]

Four blond girls at a rave in a country town. They where well under the weather. Near the end of the night they realised that they had missed the last bus home and it was a five mile walk ahead of them allong a country road. So they set of with the wobbly boot on. After about a couple of miles the realised that one of them was missing. So they backtracked calling out to Alice. After a while they spotted Alice lying under a cow sucking on one of the teats. What the hell you doing they called out. She replied? Just hang on I am sure that one of these four blokes will give us a lift home.

[Les Woodard]

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walks into a pub in Dublin She raises her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit. She points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
The bar goes silent as the patrons try to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an old, owl-eyed drunk slams his hand down on the counter and bellows, “Give the ballerina a drink!”
The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. She turns to the patrons and again points around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asks, ‘What man here will buy a lady a drink?”
Once again, the same little ole drunk slaps his money down on the bar and says, “Give the ballerina another drink!”
The bartender approaches the little old drunk and says, “Tell me, Paddy, it’s your own darn business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why in tarnation do you keep calling her the ballerina?”
The drunk replies, “Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!

Not mine just to be clear