Awkward passenger/blood/punter

[Bill Cameron]

I sailed on the Windsor Castle as a Tourist Class winger about 1962, when a South African female came aboard in Southampton bound for Cape Town, she was not at all happy as she had been sailing around the world as a first class passenger and she could not get a first class berth on this voyage.
She demanded a seat at the Captains Table, my table, well a six cover table, I then had two , by two separate tables. This technically was only used twice a voyage by the Captain once out and once home, the rest of the time the seat was taken by the Tourist class Purser, a very nice guy.
Day one she demanded separate coffee and milk pots, now Tourist Class does not cater for this, but she was instant and very vocal, so much so the Purser left the table in embarrassment. The Head Waiter a very nice Dutchman, ( I have forgotten his name, am sure Doc Vernon will let me know) said to me give her what she wants, but make sure the jugs are full, these jugs held ten cups of coffee, and to pour into a demi tass coffee up takes a bit of skill, easy if your standing over the cup.
I placed the hot silver jugs on side plates beside her and backed off to deal with my other tables. The inevitable happened she spilt the coffee all over my table, much to the amusement of the other passengers around her, I had to strip down and relay my table for second sitting, a kind assistant head waiter gave me a hand.
She rarely made a fuss after that.

[happy daze john in oz]

Bill, it was Bakhousan or similar and Tony Talavera was his deputy.

But this may be the same lady that saw me up in front of the skipper.
The HW came to me saying I have this lady who has been on a number of tables but is never happy with them, I am putting her on yours.

Day two had enough of her and told he she was only on my table because no one else would put up with her.

Next morning up to his cabin for a bolloking.
'You see young man we get very many on here who I would prefer were not, but they pay their fare so we must accommodate them'

She was moved yet again and I never saw her again.

[Bill Cameron]

many thanks John, I guess that was her, happy days

[Jim Brady]

On the Emp.Of Britain Tourist end a passenger complained about everything that was put down in front of him as being cold.As soon as it was placed on the table he would put some of whatever it was in his mouth and exclaim cold again.The waiter was fed up with this so he asked the head waiter if he could have the meths lamp at his table,the head waiter agreed.The first thing the passenger ordered after the waiter got the lamp was Welsh Rarebit,this was served in an earthenware dish,the waiter put it on the lamp till it was bubbling,right off the lamp onto the table.The passenger could not wait to get into it to complain that it was cold.Once in his mouth Ernie the waiter asked is that warm enough for you sir,he couldn't talk (have you ever tried to talk with something hot in your mouth)I think it mustve taken the skin off the roof of his mouth.
Regards.
Jim.B.