I don't think this has appeared on site before,but my apologies if so.
ELF 'N SAFETY- A Child's Lament
Watch out,watch out,don't dare go out
The Elf 'N Safety Man's about
He says that there are nasty things
Like roundabouts and slides and swings
And climbing frames you mustn't climb
Because they hurt you all the time.
You mustn't walk along the street
'Neath hanging baskets trim and neat
'Cos they might fall and hurt your head
Or if they're heavy, leave you dead.
Don't lean your ladder on the wall
'Cos it might move and make you fall
And never run 'cos you might slip
And end up with a broken hip.
Don't walk on paths if they are wet
'Cos Elf says you can safely bet
Your feet will slip and down you'll go
To break your ankle or your toe.
So now although I'm just a boy
I dare not play with any toy,
The plastic ones will poison me
And metal ones endanger me.
I dare not go out on my bike
Or swim or go off for a hike,
'Cos danger lurks in everything
And only pain and death they bring.
I take in all this good advice
That tells me life's not very nice
And wonder what I'll do all day
To keep these dangers well at bay
And I proclaim that while alive
Despite the pitfalls--I'll survive.
I won't take chances but instead
I'll safely spend my life in bed.
(Roy Hobbs,from NARPO magazine)
Gulliver
