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Thread: The Potty Story of Garston Mud.

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    Default The Potty Story of Garston Mud.

    This is a very unusual story, spanning a thousand years or more. It is up to the reader to decide if it is fact or fiction. I can assure the Reader that some of the characters and events really did excist, it is up to the Reader to decide.Some names have been changed to protect the Innocent.
    The story was started from the journals of Brian Daley, a Seafarer of many talents.I have published some journals from my own family history. Another Character, Jeff Glasser forced his way into the story and caused mayhem.
    Here is the story that crossed time, the oceans and continents, a story of Mutiny, of murder on the high seas, of treachery.

    Read on...........................

    The Mudmen Code, a potty history of Garston by Brian Daley
    ________________________________________
    The Mudman Code

    Dear reader I must ask you to suspend your disbelief as I relate my tale of times past when the world was a simpler place and Garston was on the verge of greatness.

    Our story begins in the New Hayes Hospital for the Terminally Bewildered,
    I was working there temporarily, filling in time before I was due to emigrate to Birmingham, my visa had been lost in the post and I had had to make another application. However that is another story; it was just after midnight when old Mr Keegan was brought in, he was in a very muddled state, his face a mixture of fear and anticipation . As he was wheeled to his room I noticed that his possessions consisted one old burlap sack, a Tupperware box and very little else. I was given the task of cleaning him and getting into bed, all the while he clutched the burlap sack to his chest, afraid that it might get stolen or lost.
    I got him some cocoa, in which there was a sleeping draught ,and sat with him while he relaxed and gave himself up to a much needed sleep. There was very little information about him in the paperwork, apparently he had been a local character who slept in doorways and any other place that might offer him shelter from the elements, he relied on the good nature of the shopkeepers who used to let him have spoiled fruit and out of date pies and sandwiches to sustain him.
    He could be found bathing himself down Garston shore but most of his time was spent in the reference section at the local library.
    He never engaged anyone in conversation, but those who were in earshot could often hear him muttering , “That bloody nun.. if only….” He was never found to be without his plastic box or burlap sack, and now, here he was beside me, gently snoring the sack freed from the grip of his sleep loosened hand.
    What did that burlap enfold? My curiosity got the better of me and I leaned over and gently lifted the sack away from him; it was heavy. I struggled to undo the string that held it closed, the knots were expertly tied, was he a sailor perhaps..
    Opening the sack I saw a small brass bound box, beautifully made, it was Sapele mahogany with brass corners and an escutcheon on the top which bore the legend “Presented to Bro. K. Keegan Esq, Mode Humanus, from the Grateful People of Garston, in the year of Grace MCMX1” 1911, it was now 1999,how old was this man, and what did the box contain?
    It was held closed by a wonderfully fashioned padlock, finished in silver plate.
    I hadn`t yet taken his old clothes down to the incinerator and quickly rummaged through his pockets in search of the key. It seemed to take an age to find, there was so much rubbish and bits of crumpled paper in every pocket , I eventually found it secreted in his lapel, he had obviously sewn it there many years before. But why all the secrecy, could the contents of the box answer that question?
    My hands were shaking when I opened the box, it was filled with sheafs of paper,

    brown with age and charred at the edges .Apart from a couple of medals and seeming religious medallions there was naught else in the box.
    I carefully unfolded the sheaf of paper and could see that there were pages and pages filled with the meticulous copperplate script, minute in size but clearly discernable.
    I returned to my room to fetch my reading glasses, sandwiches ,flask and smoking materials; this promised to a long read.
    Settling myself down in the chair by my charges bed ,I unfolded the pages and began to read………

    The Journal of Kerrigan J. Keegan cont….


    Down through the ages my family, and with it ,the Brotherhood and the town of Garston ,prospered. Our attachment to the church of Rome seemed indissoluble ,but the Brethren worked secretly with new church in Byzantium ,and with the empires to the East, we had to act covertly lest the Holy See were to take umbrage with our duplicity. Our Masters had seen what had happened to the Cathars and the Gnostics, they would not let that fate befall them.
    Our Brethren who had settled in Byzantium became as natives, as did our Brethren in Persia and far off Hindustan. Only members of our family were initiated into the order and our family was large .
    Correspondence between the Orders was made through a skilfully contrived code known only to the Illuminati in each country and this was perfected to such a standard that it remained unbroken down all the centuries. The secret of our success was our apparent openness, we seemed to be mere traders ,no suspicion ever arose regarding our activities ,our profits were so widely dispersed that no ruler was ever aware that we were gently seeding our wealth and putting it to great use..
    It was in the reign of King John that we laid the first stones of the Great Cathedral to Our Lady Mary the Mother of God. This was sited in the fields that lay beyond the waterfront as you came up the Street of Kings. A ceremonial arch was raised to lead the faithful into the great Square that lay beyond it. This arch was bedecked with flowers and bunting on holy days or when we had visiting nobility. They would progress up from the portway and walk through a bower of fragrant flowers which were waved aloft by dancing virgins. Those were colourful days and they are depicted in the splendid murals that can now be seen in the great Museum and Art Gallery that we built in the Street of St. James.
    When King John passed through our town he invested, unknowingly, the then Grand Master of the Mudmen into one of the Royal Orders, he became The Noble Watcher of the Majestic Bowel. The Grand Master was diligent in his duty for it was a fact that his sovereign majesty did indeed suffer mightily with his bowels, and his flatulence once near caused a war with our French neighbours. This ailment of the King was fortuitous for the Brotherhood for it caused them to discover something that would both lead to a resolving of the Kings Terrible Problem and the further enrichment of the Order. That something was the healing properties that were a constituent of the Mud. How it came to be discovered will be explained in good time for I am afraid the sea is getting up, I can hear the officer of the watch calling and must go and see what assistance I can render 18.04 1898
    Those rising seas were the precursor of a storm, the like of which our Captain later said, was the worst in all his 40 years at sea. So great was the wind that the mainsail was rent across before we could send men enough aloft to reef them. We toiled for three days and nights to make her safe ,the hands were hollow eyed wrecks by the eve of the third day. The lord was good to us for the winds abated and gave us enough calm to make for the Isle of Fernando de Noronha, a lonely place to the east of Recife in Brazil. Luckily the Captain had been there as a 2nd mate many years before and knew it well enough to navigate us safely through the shoals into the Baia de Sancho. We think it should be called Safe Haven for it is well sheltered from the elements and thus give us the opportunity to effect the damage wrought upon us by hurricane.
    The carpenter and shipwright are at work as I pen these words and I should have time enough to continue my tale.

    When the master Masons constructed the cathedral in the town of Garston , they were in the employ of the Brethren, but these Brethren were entrenched within the Roman Church and our then Grand Master was the ruling Bishop of that See.
    The masons , being members of another friendly order , were sworn to secrecy as to the full design of church, for as well as the main crypt below ground ,two further chambers were constructed, and constructed in a manner that there concealment was never discovered . The chambers were for the Brethren and it was there that they performed their rituals, and it was there also that they met in conclave to guide the fortunes of the now growing Brotherhood. New side orders were created to allow the induction of men who were not of Garston bloodline but who would prove beneficial to the order through expanding their knowledge of astronomy , biology , botany and medicine . It was through the experiments of one such Brother that the remedy for King Johns Terrible Problem was found. Prior to his arrival at St Egberts monastery (all non blood Brethren were inducted as monks) the mud had been transported in wooden tubs . This was a tedious task, such was the amount timber required for their manufacture that the newly formed Woodcutters Society was hard put to meet the demand and the Great Wood of Garston was being denuded of many tree.
    Bro Waterways , being of an exploratory nature, sought to find a way out of this dilemma and set about dehydrating the mud to see if it could be powdered and thus weigh less heavy ,and also enabling it to be bagged in sacks and make for easier transportation.
    He carried out his experiments in the cellars of Garston Castle , well away from the prying eyes of those who were jealous of our secrets. It was’nt many months before he had come up with a solution , and with that solution the founding of another of our fortunes!
    In his experimentations , Bro. Waterways found that as the mud reached a certain temperature in the drying process a light ash would cloud off the smoke and fall in smuts about the room, some fell in his drinking horn and lay on the surface of his dinner wine. He had always thought this lightish soot a nuisance ,it required cleaning after every drying period and covered everything. Preoccupied , he reached for his wine and took a draught before he noticed the film of soot ,swallowing it down he thought that the wine was more pleasant than usual but never gave the matter much thought. However , being a man who was given to the same afflictions as the King ,he found a wonderful feeling of settlement come over his innards. Picking up his drinking horn he looked at it contents, there was a residue of soot at the bottom of it. He spent the next few weeks testing it on the men at the Queens Tavern and received reports from their wives that the nights in bed were much quieter since drinking the good Brothers sleeping draught.
    He made further tests on the great Shire horses that Brothers Portus and Rhodus kept at their stables in St Marysfield . Again the reports were to the good, the dreaded Shire flatulence was no more.
    Having assured himself of the medicinal effects Brother Waterways then took the remedy to his Master, The Grand Brother Keegan, the Noble Watcher of the Majestic Bowel. A carriage was prepared and the G.B was hastened to the Hamlet of Nottingham where the King was enjoying a shooting holiday, the targets being the local bandit peasantry.
    The King was administered his remedy just before he retired to his bed ;that night all Nottingham was silent , not a poot or a parp was heard .The Royal bowel was granted peace at last and the township of Garston was granted Royal Patronage..
    A university was to be established,one that would teach the liberal arts and sciences, this would be the jewel of English academia and would produce many great philosophers, artists ,musicians ,writers and others. Europe would send the cream of its students to benefit their further education .

    Many years of peaceful progress followed , the Brethren managed to avoid any involvement in the sordid battles between the religions.The Crusades had destroyed the fortunes of many of Europes great families, the various orders that were formed to assist in the success of the Crusades were enjoying different kinds of success. The Order of the Poor Knights of Jerusalem , the Templars ,were enjoying a spectacular success after the First Crusade. From being a collection of Indigent Knights tasked with protecting the Temple at Jerusalem, within a few short decades they became rich beyond the dreams of avarice.
    They set up a banking system that spanned the Holy Roman Empire, all transport, whether by land or sea , handled by the Templars, all ,that is,
    excepting the Brotherhood of Mudmens. Being an older order and having greater business skills , we had placed some of our Brethren in all of the new orders as a contingency to protect from any actions that these orders might take that would be harmful to our aims. And such actions saved us heavy losses when the Pope and the King of France later eliminated the Templar Order.
    Our Brethren had the ear of many monarchs and prelates and , more importantly ,the Pope ,the well placed agents got wind of the planned destruction and were able to get word to the Templar bastion at La Rochelle. Thirteen Templar vessels escaped the clutches of the French soldiery, five sailed to Portugal and were granted sanctuary by the Portugese king. Some went to Scotland under the command of Frederico Kinghornia , what nobody knew, until now dear reader, is that one sailed to Garston under the command of Aspinale de Kong ,And thus would open a new chapter in the fortunes of the Mudmen.

    8 bells are sounding so I must away to my duties, the midshipman reported that the shipwright thinks our damage so grave that she will not make it round the Horn. I'll lay my pen down 'til the morrow.
    18.04 1898 r.



    FROM THE JOURNALS OF CAPTAIN de KONG…………………..

    Yes I remember it well, the escape from the Salientia* French clutches and my victorious return
    to my homeland of Garston. I later invented the first mud tanker, watered down the mud to a thin liquid and then got all hands to man the pumps for discharging. On a long voyage in the tropics this was unsuccessful as the mud dried and the pumps could not discharge. So it had to be dug out by hand into barrels.
    This was to be the first of my many, many cockups.
    Aspinale de Kong,
    Last edited by Captain Kong; 20th July 2011 at 08:52 PM.

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    Continued..........................

    BRIAN DALEY` SM JOURNAL…………….
    22.04 1898
    The prognostication of our midshipman has turned out to be correct, the damage is far too great to effect an attempt around the Horn so our Captain
    has decided to head for a ship repair yard at La Boca in Buenos Aires.
    How long we will be there is anyone’s guess.
    A word about our Captain, he is a direct descendant of that same Templar shipmaster who sought refuge from the wicked Saliente, or Frogs as we say in the modern parlance. Being a foreigner and a Templar to boot, neither he ,nor his descendents were initiated into the Brotherhood. Instead he, and his crew , were allowed to carry on their Templar ways, but strictly out of sight from our churchmen and other uninitiated citizenry. No sign or emblem was allowed to be shown, as far as the Holy Roman church knew ,they were good catholic seaman who come to ply their trade on our behalf. With their navigation skills ,and their knowledge of ships and all that was involved in the course of ocean travel ,they were the greatest prize ever to land on Garstons shore.
    Our fleet increased ,and so did the need for ships, and this is where our Templar friends excelled for the number of shipwrights that had come with them was sufficient for us to open our own shipyards.
    Soon our vessels were seen to be the finest afloat , traders from other ports came to order their new vessels from us and our town had to expand to cope with influx of workmen needed to meet the demands.
    Some villains from Larpool sought gainful employ within our town but they were taken on only under sufferance, letters of guarantee were sought from their parish priests before they were allowed entry through the town gates. One infraction against the restrictions placed upon them and they were despatched very quickly back to their village by Brother Asbo.
    As time past and trade prospered ,so did then need for men to man our ships. The Illuminati instructed the Brethren to build a School of Navigation, this would be sited at the farthest reaches of Garstons boundaries, on the shore of Grassendale, near the site of the Convent of La Sagesse, a much venerated place .Some elders thought it unwise to have so many mariners in such close proximity to so many virgins ,but the matter was soon passed over.
    With the passing of the years too ,we saw our Templar friends marry into local families and to assimilate themselves into our way of life they also Anglicised their names, the de Kong brothers dropped their surname and took their ancestors forename ,altered to make it look local, Aspinall . Only one of them carried on the maritime tradition, that was the wilder one, Mad Jack Aspinall, the other brother had set up a brewhouse on the southern shore and was brewing ale from the same waters as we excavated our mud from. It was a mighty potent brew. The water was only drawn on the ebb tide for that was when it flowed fresh from the Pennine Hills. The town walls which had been erected in the 12th century were soon in need of relocating , such was our populace that we had to purchase land from the manors that abutted our demesne.
    I am afraid that I will have to curtail my writing at this juncture ,there has been a call for my services on deck and I must ,once more lay down my pen
    22.04 .1898





    Jeff Glasser journals………….

    B Brian, I think I'm getting the gist of this great and secret tale, I do'nt suppose there's a bit
    in it for me?
    I believe some of my local Severn mud was mixed with that which you speak of, by ne'er- do- wells intent on making a greater profit. ( continued by their descendants to this day in Bristol within the drugs trade ) with disastrous results, reversing the healing qualities which led to the great sewer explosion of old Glastonbury in 1746.

    Captain Kongs journals………………………………______________________________ __________
    Adam de Gerston in the year 1198 was broke, his lust for wenches and the supping of much rum from the Indies left him destitute and his land containing all the Mud was sold to a Baron de Aspin, of Aspin Hall in Bolton. Baron Aspin saw the benefits of controlling the supply of Mud and allowed his brother, John de Aspin, a Master Brewer and one time Master Mariner, on the Earl of Denby`s Estate, to use the Mud in his brews. It was used in brewing Brown ale, instead of using finings in the final stages of the brew. the Mud gave his brown ale the unmistakable flavour and brown colour of the Cambrinus Craft brew that was becoming famous throughout the Northern Shires. The Earl of Denby and all his heirs were all taken up with this particular brew and for the next five centuries they quaffed it daily. The present day Earl of Denby in 1642, feeling quite bilious one day, was sat in his throne room musing of this and that and of many other things, when he thought Why should I be buying all this Mud for the brews off a woolly back Baron. There was a civil war on at the time so he decided that under the cover of the war he would invade Baron Aspin`s land in Bolton seize the deeds for the Garston Mud Land and then it would all be his to sell to the world and to all the Cystene Chapels and monastries around the Merseyside.
    Under cover of darkness he rode into Bolton on a beautiful white Stallion, and settled in the Ancient alehouse known as "Ye Old Man and Scythe", built in 1128, and still open to this very day in the 21st century, still a favourite haunt of the decendants of the First Baron de Aspin.
    The Earl of Denby thought he had cracked it, he was asking for directions to the Estate of Baron de Aspin, he told the assembled throng in the tap room, of the said alehouse, that he was a close friend of the Baron.
    Now these simple yokels , sometimes known as ye woolly backs, couldnt understand his Scouse accent and thought he was one of those Salientia Frogs. He was taken outside in shackles and a scaffold was hastily built and in front of a large crowd of Woollybacks, his head was removed from his body by a single blow of an axe.
    Then they all trooped back into the alehouse and celebrated by quaffing large quantities of Cambrinous Craft Brown Ale made by Baron de Aspin`s brother John de Aspin.
    When news of the execution of Denby reached the ears of Baron de Aspin he was much sorrowed. He decided to give the deeds of the Mud to his brother who owned the Cambrinous Craft Brewery on Denby`s land. John de Aspin, had to make peace with the heir of the Earl of Denby, the now Earl of Denby, and gave him the deeds of the Mud Land in Garston. the Earl of Denby was much moved by this gesture and allowed John de Aspin to remain with his Cambrinous Craft Brewery on his land in Perpetuity, rent free.
    Two years later after losing heavily on the horses at Aintree, Lord Denby as he was now called, was facing eviction from his land and had to sell the Deeds of the Mud back to the Baron de Aspin to save his estates.


    Brian Daleys journals……………..

    And all you disbelievers thought this a tale of fiction! No my friends for I did with these very hands hold those brown and charred sheets that contain this tale of woe and lo! the names of many and various characters whose people are to be found therein. My friend the author will read on but not yet anon. There are many hours to morning and we still have far to go. I see the light is still on in the room where our reader keeps his watch, be patient and wait awhile............

    26.04.1898
    Would that I had the words to express the sorrow that fills my heart. I have not had the strength ,nor inclination ,to put pen to paper since last I wrote.
    We were struck by a sudden squall and the repairs that we effected in the Baia de Sancho were near undone. Had it not been for the grace of God and our good Captain Aspinall, then all would have been lost. His strength and endeavour set the men to work beyond the endurance of common folk and we were made secure enough to continue our voyage to the Argentine. The damage is such that we mayhap will spend a lengthy sojourn in La Boca, this will perhaps allow me to further my story of our passage through the many years that make up the history of the Brotherhood.

    The weather is calmed much these past few days and I write these words in the lee of the aftercastle by the light of my oil lamp. The gentle breeze makes the rigging sing a siren song and the hiss and sigh of waves as we glide through the wine dark sea brings comforting balm to my soul.
    That squall claimed the life of our young midshipman John Seddon. Just sixteen years of age, a true lad of Garston stock ,he would have been initiated on the eve of his twenty first year.
    I look to the myriad stars above in the velvet black canopy and pray that he is amongst them ,at peace after the terrible calamity that befell him. Being a cousin of mine it will fall to me to relate the tale of his passing to his Mama.
    I will take me away to the solitude of my bunk and rest before my watch.
    26.04.1898

    01.05.1898
    We have berthed in the shipyard of La Boca ,it is nightfall and I ,and one old able seaman from Larpool , Rocko Fairley are all that remain aboard.
    This is a dangerous place for Jack–Ashore, the docks are lined three deep with merchantmen of every nation and the mean streets teem with all the scum that has been spewed ashore from the many vessels. Those lusty men who have been pent up these many months , go rollicking and ranting , hell bent on spending their hard earned tin in the low dives that line the Calles and Avenidas.
    Most of our crew will make for the Liverpool Bar, so called after the new name for old Larpool; this is a dance hall come brothel and no Brother would cross its filthy threshold. But this was a place that was much frequented by our very own Captain de Aspinall, this and the other pox ridden dive The Flags of all Nations Bar.
    There were many diversions to attract the carnally minded in this town and I prayed to heaven that we would leave this place with a crew unscathed .
    The bars that a man can lose himself to some awful fate are many and sundry,
    In the Calle Juan and the Calle Lavalle, the red light district that went by the nickname the "Streets of Blood and Tears", the men would go to sate their lusts and oft be relieved of all they possessed.
    My father related to me tales of this Hell on Earth and I have no taste for such nightmares, I will keep my body and my soul together with the help of my desire to complete my journal.

    02.05 1898
    The morning was bright with sunshine and the air filled with sound of hammering and the clanking of chains, a concatenation of babbling voices fills my ears and I realise that work has commenced on our vessel. I am brought a steaming mug of Brazilian coffee,( a novelty after a diet of Mazawattee tea ),and refreshed enough to take stock of the morning .Mr Brewer ,the mate informs that the captain is not to be disturbed .He spent an energetic night at the German House and expended a small fortune on some “Silent Pipers” . Heaven knows what else he was up to. Young Glasser, the captains tiger, has been taken by the Marineros and will be spending this day cleaning the stables at the police barracks.
    The Ordinary Seaman Paddy has not been seen since wandering off in the company of some whalermen so god wot this day will bring.

    I hope that we have some mail whilst we are hear ,it would be good to hear from young Lindy Lou , or maybe Miss Lilac. God forbid that one should find out about the other, but what else can you expect from such entanglements.
    I must turn the men to their workings and myself to matters of shipwork

    01.05 .1898.


    To be continued.................................

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    continued.............................

    Captain Kongs journals……………………….

    ________________________________________
    In 1645 Oliver Cromwell was sat in the House of Commons on the banks of Ye Thames, Musing of this and that and of many other things when a court messenger arrived from Up North, He brought news of a `Mud` that made many things in life so much easier. It was used in the making of bricks, Oliver did want a new Palace to be built, It was used in the manufacture of paints, his boudouir needed a new coat, it also cured the flatulence that was common amongst the landed gentry of the time and last but not least it was better than yeast in the making of Brown Ale, a brew he was not particularly fond of when made of Ye Thames mud due to the use of Ye Thames as an open sewer.
    He made enquiries of the whereabouts of this magical `Mud`. It was in a place known as Gerston and the owner was one Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in Bolton, the possessor of Ye Deeds.
    He assembled his Army and they marched Up North to Ye Township of Bolton.
    After two years had passed he arrived on the outskirts of Bolton his men went into the town for a well earned ale in the alehouse still known as Ye Olde Man and Scythe, They started on the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery Brown Ale made from the famous Gerston Mud. They had never ever tasted anything as good being from the area known as Ye Thames.
    They got themselves very legless and started to fight with the local Woolybacks. The Woolybacks had no chance against a well armed Cromwellian Army and soon they were slaughtered, two thousand Woolybacks were put to the sword, the street outside Ye Olde Man and Scythe ran in rivers of blood. This massacre is still recorded on the Memorial Cross that was erected by Baron Aspin, on the site of ye execution of the Earl of Denby three years before.
    Baron de Aspin was in Lahpool visiting his Brother John de Aspin, brewer of the famous Cambrious Craft Brewery Brown ale and one time Seafarer. He was quaffing several firkins of the Brown stuff whilst playing his harpsichord and singing ye old favourite song of Greensleeves, when a messenger arrived to tell him of the slaughter of 2000 Woolybacks in his home town of Bolton.
    He was much sorrowed by this news and immediately went back on the ale again.
    Finally as the days passed he decided to go home to his beloved Aspin Hall.
    He rode his charger down Ye Olde East Lancashire Road and as he arrived on the hill overlooking Bolton he could see a pyre of flames and smoke in ye far distance.

    Meanwhile Oliver Cromwell had arrived at the manor known as Aspin Hall, the residence of one Baron de Aspin. He battered down the doors and his men searched ye house for Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud. He searched the great hall, the 32 bedrooms, the banqueting rooms, even the Maids quarters, some of his men having their wicked ways with ye wenches, much to their delight.
    Cromwell was much disturbed by not finding ye deeds. He did not know Ye Deeds had been given to the heir of the Earl of Denby now known as the Earl of Denby, two years earlier. So in a fit of Pique he set fire to the great Hall of Aspin. It blazed for seven days and seven nights.
    Cromwell was so distraught at the loss of Ye Deeds he turned teetotal, and not another drop of liqour passed his lips and he became a Puritan and went on an extended holiday to Ireland.
    On seeing the charcoal embers of his once beloved Great Hall, Baron de Aspin rode back to his brother`s dwelling at the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery famous for the Cambrinous Brown Ale on the Earl of Denby`s Estate and immediately went back on the ale to drown his many sorrows.
    One day whilst under the influence of ye Famous Cambrinous Brown Ale he staggered out into ye local woods in a fierce rain storm to relieve himself against a tree. A flash of lightening struck the tree and he suddenly saw the light.
    "What am I doing here?", he shouted at the storm, A great voice from the sky boomed out, "Cos you give me a pain in the ass". He was much afraid of this great voice. "From hence forth you will be known as Kong and become a Seafaring man, go ye to Gerston and sign on ye Mud ships of the great fleet of Mud carriers and go to the three corners of ye known world."
    The storm passed and Baron Aspin de Kong was a changed man and also a changed name. He left his brother`s home at the Cambrinous Craft Brewery, a Purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ale to the Northern Shires, and went to Gerston where he met a Cistene Monk who was a well known Navigator, having sailed back and forth to his old country with Gerston Mud for Ye Holy Father, Ye Pope.
    The Cistene Monk sometimes known as Alfonso, taught Kong all he needed to know about Navigating ye worlds oceans and so another famous seafaring man was born. He decided to change his name again when he received his Masters Certificate from Alfonso, the great navigating Cistene Monk. He became Aspinale de Kong. Henceforth all his sons and all their sons became seafarers. a big change from being landed gentry, The lands around the Great Hall is now a large council estate full of ruffians and benefit cheats.
    This is a true story based on real historical facts.

    BRIAN DALEYS JOURNALS……………

    New Hayes Hospital 1999
    Our writer stirs himself from his reading of the old and charred manuscript to pour a refreshing cup of tea. As he sits sipping the drink he glances over to the Tupperware box and is seized by a mild curiosity. “What lies therein” he pondered, ”Could it be as big a surprise as that box of wonders?” Reaching across for it he notices that it is sealed with ducting tape. ”He must have wanted whatever is in there to stay dry” He quickly peeled back the tape and opened the box. Inside were some old envelopes with their contents still within. He lifted one out and saw that it had on the back of the envelope the letters OHMS. Was this an old tax demand?. He drew out the letter and unfolded it ,the header page was embossed with the coat of arms of Crown Royal Pursuivant. The letter was dated 8th August 1938.
    Scanning the contents he read that it was from the Royal and Ancient Pursuivant, written in answer to a plea entered on behalf of K.J. Keegan, in which he fought for the restoration of the title and deeds to his life and family tree which had been purloined by certain members of the de Aspinall family. The courts Pursuivant had found favour with the plea entered by K.J.Keegan and had issued a Royal Warrant against the family of Aspinalls demanding that they desist in their actions in causing several and varied actions of public and private mischief against the said plaintiff. It also ordered that the Five guineas which the said Baron Aspin had borrowed off the plaintiffs family during the period of the Commonwelth be paid back with interest.
    Our reader drew out a second missive from an unmarked envelope ,it contained but one sentence in clear English ,the rest of the page written in a strange and wonderful code,
    The signature at the bottom was illegible but the logo beneath it was unmistakeable ,it was a figure like the Golem with the words Mode Humanus enscribed beneath it. Looking back at the English sentence he read again “ The finger is pointing at Aspinale and the action must be expedited “
    The old man began stirring in his bed as he hurriedly restored the contents of the box,he
    had great difficulty in refixing the tape to its proper state .
    Putting the box back on the bed ,our reader wondered “Where the hell is this going?”


    JEFF GLASSER JOURNAL……….

    Kong, was'nt there also a certain Michael of Aspin who was a jester and sooth sayer at the court of King Charles. I believe there was great treachery by his cousin, Brian of Aspin Hall, who ensured his death at the hands of Cromwells' men.

    BRIAN DALEY journals,,,,,,,,,,,

    09.05.1898
    I have worked hard these many days to try and keep some sort of order in this
    pestiferous place ;since we arrived at La Boca near half the crew are absent ,including our Captain ,who has spent a fortune in the seedier parts of the town. Were it not for our mate Mr Brewer, I feel that all would have fallen to pieces.
    Since his arrival back on board , after a weekend spent with several Argentinian friends doing some genealogical research into the family tree of the President of Argentina ,Dr Jose Evaristo de Uriburu , Mr Brewer has worked like a Trojan getting things back into order.
    He was given an audience with El Presidente after the society had made its presentation of the findings ,and during the course of the audience, El Presidente asked what Mr Brewer was doing in la Boca. Our mate informed his Excellency of the purpose of our voyage and the disasters that had befallen us ,hence our reason for being in his country. When the assembled company heard what cargo we were carrying they became very excited. They knew of the wonderful bricks that were produced with this product and became anxious to purchase it. There was a great deal of construction afoot in Buenos Aires ,the Nuevo Puerto was arising out of the marshland to the east of La Boca, this was to be for the berthing of the new steamships and the builders were hungry for bricks.
    Mr Brewer opened tentative negotiations with the contractors that the Presidente had arranged to see him. I was despatched to find our Captain, because without him the negotiations could come to naught.
    As I searched, I found a trail of mayhem that he had left in his wake, music halls trashed and bars that would never do business again. The Marineros were hot on his tail and Don Lorenzo ,the keeper of the Calabozo was seeking him to have him as a prized inmate. Old Rocko Fairley told me that our Captain had a fearsome reputation in these parts, not for nothing was he known to the denizens of La Boca as El Alehouse de Kong.

    Mr Fairley espied our Captains somnolent form laying on the steps of the Sailors Home ,he was attempting to go back to his roots mayhap. With assistance of some brawny capatazes ,we were able to smuggle our captains comatose body back on board. These capatazes were hard men, of Welsh.extraction ,they manned the sheep stations on the Patagonian Pampas ,but could talk the sailor talk as many were deserters from the sailing ships before settling with their southern kin. We may have need of their services if we lose any more of our crew.

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    CONTINUED...................................

    11.05.1898
    It took near twenty four hours to bring our Captain back to sobriety, many cups of rich black Brazilian coffee were poured down his throat before he was compos mentis enough to assimilate the information Mr Brewer had for him.
    To make an early sale of the cargo at a greater price than we would have achieved in Valparaiso, not to have to make that awful voyage around the Horn. We could seek a cargo here for a return to Garston , Argentina was full of goods that would bring a good return on the home market. Thus it is that fortunes are made, and lost!

    20.05 1898
    Our Supercargo Gedric was given the task of seeking the most lucrative cargo for our return while Mr Brewer used the good offices of one of El Presidentes friends to secure the best price for our Mud.
    Deals were struck and the trabajadores were set to work discharging our cargo, the repairs were speeded up as the holds were emptied and our young Supercargo Gedric reported the news of the cargo he secured for home.
    Rawhides, many tons of them. He reasoned that the newly formed Tannery in King Street would benefit from such a cargo and would pay a handsome price too.. It was a foul smelling cargo and brought with it swarms of bloated blow flies. They settled everywhere and we spent much time under cover trying to avoid the plague.
    Soon the last hatches were battened ,the Shipwright reported that the masts and spars were ready for the worst of storms and that our hull was sound..
    We would soon be ready for sea.
    And what of our crew? We had only lost one member ,young Paddy had heard the siren song of the South Seas and had embarked with the whalermen to make some money. How he would fare in such rough company was anybodys` guess, but I fear he would not have much time for his poetic endeavours on such a vessel.
    With the loss of Paddy and the death of young Midshipman Seddon we needed to ship just two beachcombers, Clancy ,a midlander who had spent far to long in the sun, and Luggy ,a old Nor’easterman who had been left behind after a wild weekend as a guest of Don Lorenzo.
    The pilot is booked for the morrow and we will sail down the Rio del Plata to catch the Trade winds for a swift journey home.
    I look forward to the clean stiff breezes that will rid us of this nauseous swarm, three days should do it and then I will set myself to the labours of recording the story of the Brotherhood.
    Sadly,there were no letters from home.
    20.05.1898


    Captain Kongs journals………………

    Michael de Aspin was only a half member of the de Aspin family. He was born on the other side of the blanket after a dalliance by Baron de Aspin and a serving wench known as Miss Lilac in that house of ill repute, Ye Olde Man and Scythe, in the square in ye township of Bolton.
    Unfortunately he had news of Baron De Aspin coming into possession of Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud. He always wanted an allowance off ye Baron. Ye Baron found he was an embarrassment to the Family honour and banished him from Bolton.
    It transpired that the messenger from Up North who delivered the news of the amazing Mud to Oliver Cromwell at the House of Commons was no less a person than Michael de Aspin. He was a traitor.
    He tagged along with Oliver`s Army when they marched Up North to seize the said Deeds from Baron de Aspin in Aspin Hall in ye olde town of Bolton, hoping the Baron would be killed and then he could take over the title and the Hall.
    News of Michael`s treachery reached the ears of the Baron de Aspin and a search warrant issued for his capture. Michael was the only man to survive the slaughter of ye 2000 Woolybacks by Oliver`s Army, proving he was in cahoots with Oliver.
    One Jeffery de Glass, named as such for he had a glass eye, and flew like the wind all over the country, learned that Michael de Aspin was a frequent visitor to that well known den of iniquity, Dirty Dicks, in Wapping in ye City of London..
    He paid two ruffians a guinea each to help him to despatch Michael de Aspin.
    They waited until he staggered out of that hostelry to relieve himself over a stray beggar who was lying in the gutter, and they pounced,. Throwing a sack over the head of Michael they bundled him into a cart and transported him down to Wapping Creek.
    A hole was dug at low tide and Michael was buried up to his neck and then they waited for ye tide to come in. As they waited they quaffed a few bottles of John de Aspin`s Cambrinous Craft Brewery`s Brown Ale out of some bottles that Jeff de Glass had brought with him from Up North.
    Michael`s screams for mercy soon turned to gurgles as the tide swirled over his head and then he was gone.
    The Baron de Aspin had revenge at last for his evil son`s treachery.

    Jeff Glasser journals………

    Tis' true. The one named Jeff de Glass was an ancester of mine. The afore mentioned eye was lost in a poker game to a sea faring wastrel who wore a patch over both eyes.
    The name goes back to the times of the Norman invasion. A certain Duke Julian de Glass, a member of the French Nobility who fought valiantly alongside William. (Though twas' said he would always test which way the wind was blowing before deciding who to fight for, a trait still in evidence to this day in the now named 'Glasser' family.) He had laid with a local wench believed to go by the name of 'Naked Cadillac' or something very similar, resulting in the long family line of de Glass.
    Over the centuries the name has cropped up whenever any underhanded and devious acts have been reported in the broad sheets and tabloids from all counties of this fair Isle. As has been noted, he once sailed as Tiger to the notorious Captain Aspinal, and was the only person who could safely handle the Captain when he was in one of his frequent drunken rages.

    Captain Kongs journals……

    A few Centuries later, the Earl of Denby having lost all his money again on the Horses at Aintree had the Bailiffs hammering on his door at the Great Hall.
    He only had one recourse and that was to disappear. He changed his name by deed poll to the Earl of Standley, The bailiffs came and he proved that he wasn’t the Earl of Denby as he was the Earl of Standley and claimed he had no idea of the previous Earl`s whereabouts. The Bailiffs departed.
    He still possessed Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud. and still supplied Mud to the descendant of John de Aspin, now known as John de Aspin, the owner of the famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery of Cambrinous Brown Ale and purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ales to the Northern Shires.
    Meanwhile a certain family of ruffians, by the name of Keegan, in the village of Garston were claiming the rights to possess Ye Deeds, as they were the original founders of the famous Mud from way back in the 1st century in the year of 48 A.D. The family of Kee Ghan thrived for eleven centuries, exporting their Mud around the three corners of the known world for the manufacture of these special bricks and also for the use of relieving the flatulence suffered by the gentry due to their habit of over indulgence whilst the peasants starved. As with all great empires, the empire of KeeGhan`s Mud was infiltrated by foreigners, They were first of all customers of the Kee Ghan Enterprises, this great Company had spread itself far across the three corners of the known world, to Rome, Persia, Byzantum and beyond. These peoples formed a Brotherhood and infiltrating into the Company eventually took over. 95%of the board were Members of the Brotherhood. They called themselves the `Illuminata`, a secret society , even KeeGhan could not be a member even though he still had a seat on the Board.

    In 1192 the Kee Ghan family.were conned out of Ye Deeds by one Adam de Gerston. Adam went bankrupt in 1198, due to his indolence , drinking the scRUMpy of the IndescRUMpy Company, and much wenching, He later sold Ye Deeds to one Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in Ye Township of Bolton, for a few Crowns
    These said Deeds over the years were eventually passed over to the Earl of Denby of Lahpool in the 17th Century where they were then transferred to the name of one Earl of Standley. The whereabouts of the said Deeds are now a mystery. Does the Standley family still have them? Or have they again sold them to repay their gambling debts.
    Meanwhile the family of ruffians of the name of Keegan of Garston also claimed for a debt that was owing of five guineas plus interest.
    Captain Aspinale de Kong, a prominent Seafaring man of distinction, a descendant of the original Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in the town of Bolton, has said that the said debt of five guineas was used as a credit note by the Keegan family to consume vast quantities of the now famous Cambrinous Craft Brewery`s Cambrinous Brown Ale, a product that uses the Gerston Mud in its manufacture. This Cambrinous Brown Ale over a period of time has the effect of losing memory and so Mr Keegan has forgotten all those days and nights when he consumed copious quantities of the said Brew. Indeed he now has a bar bill reaching into the hundreds of guineas, Captain Aspinale de Kong`s last comments were,” I`ll see you in Court, Keegan”

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    CONTINUED........................

    Brian Daley journals…………..

    24,06 .1898

    We are near home now ,the voyage has been without incident , the blow flies are far behind us and I am free once more to continue with my tale.
    Those of you who are not of Garston blood will find it hard to give credence to my story; the fact that we gave sanctuary to so many outsiders did not help in this matter. The “foreigners” sought to discredit our history by publishing scurrilous tales and calumnies. I have no axe to grind and would ask you to consider my words as being true . Therefore ,those of you who are still awaiting the truth may read on.
    I left of at that part of my history when the brewery was founded by the good John de Aspinall. Set up on the banks of the Mersey it was to endure through the all the changes that were wrought by time. We have no need to bother ourselves with that enterprise ,a seller of good ale will always be needed by honest thirsty men.
    I wish to record the important mile stones that mark our towns history and the real story of the hands that operated the levers of power. The hands of the Brotherhood of Mudmen.
    When the great cathedral was built there were, as I have already indicated, two secret chambers built beneath it .Within those chambers were stored our archives and the sum total of our arcane knowledge. With the spread of our network throughout the then charted world ,our Brethren had gleaned the secrets of the ancients and all were brought back to our “citadel” . Here they were subjected to intensive scrutiny , the rituals and ancient prayers of manifold peoples of the old world were subjected to empirical practice and observation, and it was through such trial that our Elders discovered some terrible secrets.
    I have related the tale of Kings Johns innards, that is just the stuff of nursery stories when compared to the greatest discovery.

    When the people of Judea were subjected to their sojourn among the Babylonians they met with a world so different from that in their native land. Being worshippers of the one god, there they met with a multitude of beliefs for the Chaldeans, the people of Babylon, were at the crossroads of the old world and had come into contact with the Egyptian ,Greek, Indian and Scythian beliefs. The Zoroastrians influenced them too and this led to a fusion out of which the Kabbala was formed. Bel and Hea, Nipur and other minor gods were prayed to . The Judeans embraced none of the idols but did embrace the Kabbala and did learn some of the great secrets. The greatest secret of all was the manipulation of clay. And not as a substance for brickmaking or pottery ,but for something more powerful than that. I fear that I will lose you here if you do not keep your disbelief suspended. The greatest and most secret use of clay was for the making of what can only be called automatons.
    When this knowledge was brought to us during the middle period of the Christian Kingdom of Jerusalem, it was deemed to be too incredible. Only the Illuminati were informed ,and only those empiricists among their number were allowed to have sight of the information. Accordingly ,another secret workshop was excavated beneath the cathedral and it was their that the most trusted brethren set to work in the matter of seeing if such a thing were possible, the construction of a Golem.
    Our brothers laboured long and hard in their efforts to emulate the success of the Chaldeans, the first clay model was adopted by the Brotherhood as their emblem. A man of clay, Mode Humanus. The image was engraved on to medallions and seals ,these would only be issued to the men of who had been initiated in to our society. The statue itself was placed in our Temple as a symbol of whence we came, Mud.!!
    The strict code that governed our Order meant that no one could ,or would divulge knowledge of its existence, other orders had made themselves manifest by wearing their colours openly and had been put to the sword. Like the chameleon ,we adopted the colours of those around us, so for many centuries Garston was a very catholic place. We served our lords and masters and paid what taxes they thought we should , the prying eyes of the priests and tax gatherers were never truly aware of true assets .Our true wealth was in our secret knowledge and the powers that this knowledge gave us. Our advances
    in the fields of medicine led to the betterment of our peoples health. The medicinal properties of this fabulous boon of the river was still our greatest source of wealth.
    The next milestone in our history came with the war between the Houses of Lancaster and York, such terror and misery was visited upon the common people when the warring Barons and Earls sought to conscript yeomen for their militias. Fathers were forced to fight against sons and brother against brother, if they were conscripted into the opposing armies. The Norris family ,our nearest neighbour espoused the Yorkist cause ,whilst that caviller Stanley waited and watched his options.
    Our township took no sides and the local Earls and barons knew well enough not to attempt any conscription of our yeomanry. They were all them too deeply indebted to us, were had their letters of mark which we could foreclose on any time.
    As a footnote to that period of history it should be noted that Stanley cavilled to the very last moment at Bosworth field . He held his men back on the rise above that great field of battle until he had a clear indication of which House would prevail. When Richard fell ,Stanley entered the field on the side of the Marcherman.

    The next milestone, and the beginning of a dangerous part of our history takes place not in our town ,but Prague, in the kingdom of Bohemia.
    The Holy Roman Emperor was resident there in the late 16th century and he caused the people to turn against the Jews , subjecting them to degradations which ,because of the royal sanction, led to murder ,rapine and mayhem . The Maharal, or chief Rabbi, pleaded with the Emperor Rudolf to desist in his actions without success. A number of our Brethren were in Prague at this very time with a cargo of mud, amongst them was one of the Illuminati, who was conversant with the construction of the Golem and he made haste to visit the Maharal. After he had identified himself as a friend , the Rabbi listened to the Intelligence that our Brother had to impart and men were despatched to the Vlatava to collect enough of the mud to commence the construction of this warrior of God. Upon completion of the Golem Rabbi Loewe and our Brother spent the night chantimg ancient Chaldean prayers and performing secret rituals over the statue.
    Kabbalistic signs were inscribed upon its parts and then the Rabbi stepped forward and made the mark that, until this moment, had been unknown to our Brother. It was a Hebrew word “Emet” an ancient word for Life. The Golem breathed life and quickly grew to a monstrous size and went out in to the night to follow the instructions written on his several parts. The Golem caused such a wave of death and destruction amongst the Christians of Prague that the Emperor begged the Rabbi to make it desist in its actions. By removing the first letter of the word Emet ,the word became death and the Golem was returned to a clay statue again. The wise Rabbi secreted the Golem beneath the synagogue in Prague where some believe it lies there still.
    However the Mudmen now had the power to activate their own Golem, more of which anon.
    The tales outsiders publish are many and varied ,but none of them true, The truth lies in the bound volumes from which I transcribe this narrative. As the crowns changed heads and the Tudor line ceased to be ,the Stuarts came down from Scotland to claim their inheritance and it is here that our fortunes enter another phase.

    Captain Kongs journals………………

    ________________________________________
    The Secret Societies have been present in the history of man for a very long time. It all started thousands of years ago with the "Brotherhood of the Sumerian Mud,” a secret society set up by an alien named Ea or Enki. This story is very carefully told in the Sumerian scriptures, which go back at least 6000 years. There it says man was created by draconian aliens, who came to this planet to exploit its resources - especially the Mud. But the work was heavy, so the alien race wanted someone else to do the hard work. Thus Ea, who was a brilliant scientist, created homo sapiens as a hybrid between a primitive earth life-form and the alien race. These images made from the Sumerian Mud were living breathing creatures in the likeness of man. These were made from the Mud in the shape of a man. and brought to life. They were know as Golem.
    In the 1st Century AD all the Sumerian Mud had been used up. The whole area had been returned to the desert.. There was nothing left, civilisation as they knew it was also drying up.
    Other sources say once the golem had been physically made one needed to write the letters aleph, mem, tav, which is emet and means "truth," on the golem's forehead and the golem would come alive. Erase the aleph and you are left with mem and tav, which is met, meaning "death."
    Often in Ashkenazi Hasidic lore, the golem would come to life and serve his creators by doing tasks assigned to him. The most well-known story of the golem is connected to Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel, the Maharal of Prague (1513-1609). It was said that he created a golem out of The Mud to protect the Jewish community from Blood Libel and to help out doing physical labour, since Golems were very strong.
    Again the Mud from which these Golems were made were drying up and there was a crisis in the world, the likes of which have never been seen, since until we had the Credit Crunch in September in the year 2008.
    . Another version says it was close to Easter, in the spring of 1580 and a Jew-hating priest was trying to incite the Christians against the Jews. So the golem protected the community during the Easter season. Both versions recall the golem running amok and threatening innocent lives. A separate account has the golem going mad and running away. Several sources attribute the story to Rabbi Elijah of Chelm, saying Rabbi Loew, one of the most outstanding Jewish scholars of the sixteenth century who wrote numerous books on Jewish law, philosophy, and morality, would have actually opposed the creation of a golem unless it was made from Ye Gerston Mud, the only supply left in the known three corners of the world.
    Ye Gerston Mud had been in popular use for the last few centuries since 48 AD when the Romans exploited it and Kee Ghan operated the Mud fields on a three shift system to maintain the heavy demand for it. The Gerston Mud was now the only place left in the three corners of ye known worlde.
    Mean while the scholars and scientists of the time made the discovery of the manufacture of the special bricks, also if taken as a medicine, one spoonful each morning and evening, cured the extreme flatulence that was prevalent at the time due to the over indulgence of the ruling classes at the expence of ye peasants.
    Many centuries later, one John de Aspin, brother of Baron Aspin of Aspin Hall in ye township of ye ancient town of Bolton, was a Master Brewer and one time Seafaring man, accidently dropped some of the Gerston Mud into a vat of Brown Ale at his Cambrinous Craft Brewery which was sited on the Earl of Denby`s Estate in a quiet suburb of Lahpool. He had also run out of Finings in the last stage of the brewing of this Brown Ale. The results were staggering. It had a distinctive shade of Brown and the taste was out of this world. After many tests it was also discovered that no matter how much of the Brown ale was supped, the drinker never suffered from the dreaded flatulence which is quite common amongst beer drinkers. And thus the Cambrinous Brown Ale was born. A revolution in the manufacture of fine ales.
    Thus out of this, the Baron de Aspin was determined to get his hands on Ye Deeds of Ye Gerston Mud, as the price was constantly rising. The year was 1198 and the owner of the Mud in Gerston was one Adam de Gerston, who had aquired them from the Kee Ghan family six years previously. Adam was now broke due to his life style of debauchery with the local wenches and the supping of much scRUMpy from the IndescRUMpy Distillery in Walton Vale. So for just a few Crowns, Baron de Aspin became the proud owner of Ye Gerston Mud. And the rest is history.

    This story is as clear as Mud, I hope you can understand it all.
    It is based on fact and from the Historical records of the Aspinall family archives.

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    continued..................................

    Jeff Glasser journals…………..

    I have done a bit of research of my forefathers, and it has come to light of a certain jethro Glass, he rode shot spear on the delivery carts of the well known fermenter of apple and pear juices 'Showrengs' in the old Somerset town of Sheeptown Mallay'. Founded by the Romans and known by them as LLinoleum.
    You will no doubt be familier with the brand name -'Bebe champagne, invented by accident by Francisca de le Showreng, himself an illegal immigrant from Rumania.
    It was rumoured that on one of Jethro's trips to Lahpool they delivered several barrels of home brewed Sc'RUM'py to a brewery that traded under the name of Aspinal. Whist the driver was busied with chits and receipts, our Jethro stole a keg of the MUD that he saw being added (secretly) to the bubbling brew. It was brought back and added to the squashed pear juice, giving it a great aphrodisical quality. To this day, men wishing to have their way with the local wenches will ply them with 'BabyCham', as it is now quaintly called in Somersetshire. Of course not being able to obtain more of the Lahpool MUD, a substitude has been found in the inferior mud from the river Severn.
    This, as has been noted, is highly inflammable if not added in the correct ratios. ( see Old Glastonbury Sewer explosion of 1746 ) but nobody in the West country has so far complained, though severe flatulance has been attributed to it.




    Captain Kongs Journals………..

    ________________________________________
    Jeff, In your own interests I urge you to read and inwardly digest the following statement issued by the Law Society.

    As the elliptic statements of the basic ingredients of criminal liability that they are
    frequently taken to be, both expressions [actus reus and mens rea] are incomplete and
    misleading. While the term mens rea is used in at least three distinct senses, so that failure to
    distinguish clearly between them leads inevitably to confusion, the terminology of actus reus
    tends to conceal the important principles that are at stake when the courts are deciding what
    sorts of conduct deserve condemnation as criminal. I do not mean to suggest that the
    traditional terminology should be abandoned; rather I would argue that a sharper awareness of
    its limitations might help us to see more clearly what the preconditions to criminal liability
    really are, and how far they really reflect the principles they are commonly supposed to
    encapsulate. . . .and so..
    The wrongful and illegal acquisition of the said Mud, by Jethroe de Glasse from the premises of one John de Aspin, owner of the said Cambrinous Craft Brewery and brewer of the said Cambrious Brown Ale whose ingredients contain a percentage of Mud in the brewing thereof, and also Purveyor of Cambrinouse Brown Ales to the Northern Shires, comstitutes a criminal offence which if proven can and will be punishable by death.
    It was presumed that the Olde Glanstonbury Sewer Explosion of 1746 was a fitting punishment by an act of God and the Courts would feel that this was a just punishment on some of the perpetrators of this heinous crime.
    Nevertheless the offence of the theft of the Gerston Mud, from the above Purveyor of Cambrinous Brown Ale to the Northern Shires, takes precedent over any other offence. As the accused, one Jethrow de Glasse, is now deceased, steps will be taken to exhume his remains and will then therefore be drawn and quartered before being fed to the local Farmers swine.
    This act of law will be a deterrent to any other person or persons wishing to commit a similar offence. The British Courts take a very serious view of the theft of such Gerston Mud and the full weight of the Law will be applied to any offender.
    This division of crime into its constituent parts is an exercise of analytical convenience: the
    concepts of actus reus and mens rea are simply tools, useful in the exposition of the criminal
    law. Great care should, therefore, be taken to avoid determining questions of policy by
    reference to definition and terminology. Such observations as that the maxim actus non facit
    reum nisi mens sit rea serves the ‘important purpose of stressing two basic requirements of
    criminal liability,’ make actus reus and mens rea seem rather more than analytical tools. They
    have been converted from the descriptive to the normative: to propositions that criminal
    liability should be based on harmful conduct, and should require a mental element. .


    Brian Daley…………..

    I am in the process of instructing my solicitors to pursue through the courts damages for the theft of intellectual property right to said story of The Mudmen Code. Now sod off and write your own story, you have been warned!! I am trying to tell a tale here,
    BrianD

    Jeff Glasser……
    Kong, firstly I must mention that a search for the mortal remains of Jethro de Glass would be in vain. He was involved in a terrible explosion whilst trying to make illicit Bebe champagne in a home made still in the de Glass hovel outhouse, without making sure the place was well ventilated.
    Only a few singed shards of the pink tights that he always wore, and the feather from his cap were all that was found. Some said that he had used the ensuing confusion to make good his escape from the Kings excise men that were closing in fast regarding matters too distasteful to mention here, and using the fleetness of foot that he was well known for, made his way to safer grounds in the great wastelands of Lancashire, never to be heard of again.
    p.s. I'm not really a descendant, I took the name from a grave stone, so it'll be no good looking to me for any kind of reimbursement!
    I are a foundling.

    Secondly, Sorry Brian D, we do seem to have hijacked you story. Pray continue.

    Jeff ( real name John Smith )

    Captain Kong……………….
    Sorry about all that `ar Brian, I guess we got carried away in the heat of the moment. We digressed.

    to Jeff

    The swine,
    Justice has been cheated again. I was hoping to re-enact the execution scene that the Earl of Derby, sometimes known as James Stanley, of Lord Derby fame experienced all those years before.
    The Cambrinous Craft Brewery has produced a bottle of the famous Cambrinous Craft Brown Ale very popular in the Northern Shires. It is 5.5% and BV 1051. A very strong beer only to be consumed by the decendants of ye Woollybacks.
    It portrays the scaffold and execution scene, of James Stanley the Earl of Derby, outside ye Ancient Hostelry, Ye Olde Man and Scythe, in Bolton.

    I bet you all thought it never existed. I told you all along it was a true story, This Brew is called James Stanley`s REVENGE. brewed by the decendant of John de Aspin now known as John Aspinall, Master Brewer and Master Mariner.

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    continued....................................

    BRIAN DALEYS JOURNAL………………


    03.07.1898

    I have had so little time to attend to my recording of the travails of the Brethren of late; no sooner had we neared the Scillies than a great storm blew out of the North East . It added near a week to our passage and brought back dreadful memories of our outward journey ,but we are in the Irish Sea now ,heading for Liverpool Bay. I am minded of the tales my father told me as a child of when he would be making the same passage home. He told of the excitement that seizes hold of a crew as they near their native port. Our crew is in such a state of excitement now, all thoughts of South America lie far behind us as we crest the waves, homeward bound.
    I go home with mixed feelings, the journey I set out upon was never completed, we failed to fulfil our contract with our Chilean associates, great damage was caused to our Mudskipper by the storm that took us off the coast of Brazil and ,worst of all, we lost young John Seddon to that cold dark ocean..
    The other side of the coin is that we have made new contacts in the Argentine, we have a cargo of the finest raw cowhides and we should show great profit from this venture.
    In two days time we should be safely berthed in Garstons new enclosed dock, I will be back in the bosom of my family and mayhap learn on what new ventures I will embark when my the time is due.
    I have some small free time and will endeavour to record some more of the Brethrens history.

    When our Brothers returned from Prague, our Brother who was of the Illuminati .made haste to see his Grand master to impart him the intelligence he had learned of the means of activating the Golem. His fellow travellers were ignorance of all that had passed in Bohemia and so the secret was safe within the Illuminatis breast. Many years would pass before we heard of the Golem and it stood peacefully below the stonework in our great cathedral..

    As the Royal houses succeeded one another and the Stuarts occupied the throne of the twin kingdoms of England and Scotland, religious fervour started to sweep the country at large, we in Garston escaped the worst excesses of this fervour. The Brethren sought to accommodate the changes by a seeming acceptance of change yet remained steadfast to their creed. They were well versed in the art of lip service.
    Their secrets were many , some arcane ,gleaned from ancient scriptures ,and some contemporary, learned from the latest thinkers of the day.
    What was undeniable was our Society had discovered a secret so world shaking and terrible that it could not be divulged but to the innermost few.
    As with most discoveries ,it was found when looking for something else.Our apothecaries were searching to enlarge upon their knowledge of the medicinal
    properties of the Mud which they were now dredging from the shore near Hale. This was exceedingly different from that which was dredged from Oglet or Garston shore. Its texture and composition was much finer and it had a distinctive odour ,to the tongue it had a chalybeate taste.
    Why should this be so different, whence did it emanate and what good was it?
    It was not good for brick making ,it did not have immediate curative properties,it was benign in that there were no harmful effects and ,indeed it could be ingested without any discernable effects, good or ill.
    As with all our empiricists ,their work took many decades to draw conclusions ,we had men enough to spare for such diversions and the full weight of our society was given without stint.
    There was never a Eureka moment when the discovery was made manifest, instead the moment was kept quiet ,as quiet as the grave!
    What our apothecaries had discovered was that regular ingestion of this mud was holding back the senescence that accompanies age. Whilst our empiricists were indulging their efforts in experimentation throughout the decades of testing ,it was noted that they had never aged a moment ,yet their Brethren in employ on other ventures aged as nature intended. Their cloistered seclusion prevented knowledge of this boon from entering the public domain and our Illuminate had another lever with which to exercise the control of their, so called ,rulers.
    Crowned heads throughout Europe learned of this amazing elixir and craved some for themselves,Emirs and Caliphs begged and entreated to learn how they could acquire the prolongation of their mortal existence.
    The secret was to remain secret within the vastness of our Societys’ citadel.
    In the main, life for the Mudmen went on as usual ,only the Illuminati were given this elixir , thus they could rule and govern our order blessed with the wisdom of their years without suffering the deleterious effects of aging.

    In the meanwhile ,we had a new monarch on the throne ,James the first of England who was also the sixth king of that name in the twin kingdom of Scotland.
    Now that we were a so called United Kingdom ,our Gracious majesty sought to expand his Kingdom in places where others had failed. The first and foremost of his intentions was to do that which all the preceding crowned heads of the English Kingdom had failed to do so far. The subjugation of Ireland.
    Since the Pope had granted the English domain over Hibernia in the 12th century, and so extend the writ of the Holy Roman Empire to Erin, no English monarch had managed to go beyond the Pale,that narrow strip of land that stretched down from south of Ulster to the reaches of Wexford.
    King James would take the lands in the North and dispossess the barefoot Princes ,thus sowing a crop of dragons teeth that would be reaped as a harvest of spears.
    Liverpool was one of the places of embarkation for this great military expedition,wisely ,the Mudmen eschewed any part of this undertaking and the religious bitterness which ensued in the northern parts of our land missed visiting our little township. We were left unmolested to pursue our rise to being a major maritime port on a par with Bristol. The New World was beckoning and our Brethren were ready to exploit the opportunities that lay across the great Ocean.
    How we fared will be revealed when I next have time to gasp my pen again , the sun is glinting off the spire of St Nicholas church and I must away to make ready for passage into safe harbour.






    CAPTAIN KONGS JOURNALS…………

    Brewer opened tentative negotiations with the contractors that the Presidente had arranged to see him. I was despatched to find our Captain, because without him the negotiations could come to naught.
    As I searched, I found a trail of mayhem that he had left in his wake, music halls trashed and bars that would never do business again. The Marineros were hot on his tail and Don Lorenzo ,the keeper of the Calabozo was seeking him to have him as a prized inmate. Old Rocko Fairley told me that our Captain had a fearsome reputation in these parts, not for nothing was he known to the denizens of La Boca as El Alehouse.

    Mr Fairley espied our Captains somnolent form laying on the steps of the Sailors Home ,he was attempting to go back to his roots mayhap. With assistance of some brawny capatazes ,we were able to smuggle our captains comatose body back on board. These capatazes were hard men, of Welsh.extraction ,they manned the sheep stations on the Patagonian Pampas ,but could talk the sailor talk as many were deserters from the sailing ships before settling with their southern kin. We may have need of their services if we lose any more of our crew.

    11.05.1898
    It took near twenty four hours to bring our Captain back to sobriety, many cups of rich black Brazilian coffee were poured down his throat before he was compos mentis enow to assimilate the information


    As I sit here in my ruin of a hovel, writing my Memoirs in the light of a flickering candle, that is flickering due to the cold drafts whistling through my room, my arthritic fingers clutching my pen, I try to recollect some of my adventures that I experienced during my sea time as a Master Mariner on the Mud Boats out of Gerston those many years ago.
    I recalled the voyage that Mr Twize Daley wrote in his journal, shewn above, about our stay in that den of iniquity and cesspit of a Port, Buenos Aires, on that hostile coast of Argentina whilst we discharged our valuable cargo of Gerston Mud.
    I went ashore to meet the Agent, I was told he was in the street known as the Calle Vienti Cinco de Mayo, drinking in his favourite tavern, the Texas Bar.
    On meeting him, we conducted our business, then he introduced me to a lovely young Senorita by the name of Cleopatra, She had just sung a song about the Love of a Senorita and her Gaucho Hombre. They were on the Pampas in the light of a full moon, singing a song of love and when she hit the high notes, it set off a stampede and they were both trampled to death by the hooves of a thousand Bovines. A very sad song sang with such passion that she had every one in the Texas Bar weeping into their drinks. There was not a dry eye in the house.
    I had another drink with my new found Senorita, Cleopatra, then we danced. The band played a Tango, we were made for each other, our bodies swayed with the music and she was fantastico, as our bodies entwined it sent electric shocks through my body. Then we danced La Bomba, another incredible dance with her shaking all over me. I was in ecstasy. What a wonderful woman the Agent had fixed up for me.
    She nibbled on my ear and asked me to escort her to her home. I was swooning with desire for her. We walked hand in hand down the Calle across the wide Avenida, past the Pink Palace and then down a small alley then up some steps and we were into her apartmento.
    She poured me a drink of Anis and we sat on her sofa, we kissed passionately, “Mia Querida” , I whispered in her shell like ear, “Yo en mucho amor para usted en mia corazon mia querida” and then she said “Come, passa en mia boudoir, mia querido”. I followed her into her boudoir and we slowly divested ourselves of our garments as she sang the song again about the Senorita and the Gaucho, She was beautiful with skin like alabaster and small breasts, as she removed her pantaloons, SHOCK, HORROR, she had a bigger wedding tackle than me. In a panic I ran out of her apartmento down the steps and around the corner by the Pink Palace. I was only wearing my under garments. The Marineros and the Vigilantes on guard by the Palace shouted `Halta, mucho loco Inglezi Marinero`. I ran past them and ran down the Avenida towards the La Boca, they were chasing me with their sabres drawn, but with my panic I soon outran them. I did not want to end up in Senor Don Lorenzo`s callabozo. In the far distance I could see the Sailors Home, or the Casa de Marineros. My lungs were bursting as I ran, I was gasping for breath as I reached the steps of the Casa Marinero. Then I collapsed half way up them and then it all went dark and I was unconscious.
    I believe I was found by my old shipmate, Mr Fairley, who with some `capatazes` who assisted him, they carried me back on board. Pasa el barco.
    I was in a state of severe shock from my experience the night before. I was shaking and trembling all over. The rest of the crew thought I was suffering from the dreaded delirium tremens due to a surfeit of Anis. But I can assure the reader that I was not.
    My hands are trembling with the cold and there is a film of ice on the surface of my ink pot, so I will have to end my story here and try to get some warmth in them from the candle.
    After 42 years of service with the Gerston Mud Company they didnt pay a pension at the end, I was used up and put ashore at the end of my useful service, while the members of the Illuminata lived a life of luxury.
    I still curse that Oliver Cromwell for destroying my family Home at Aspin Hall two centuries ago, forcing us to live a life of a Seafarer instead of a Gentleman.
    Adios mi amigos.
    Captain Aspinale de Kong.

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    ontinued.........................

    JEFF GLASSE………….
    Ahh, such a story Kong, such command of the written word, such eloquence, etc. ( I shall use the same grovelling words at the end of Bryan D's great saga )
    I felt a kinship when reading those final paragraphs, having, I believe, met the same 'Cleopatra' that you speak of in your narrative, though at the time she was working her passage ( ! ) as a bedroom steward on the Brasil Star. I too was decieved by those dark flashing latin eyes, and it was'nt until the journey home during a particularly drunken bout in the chief Engineers cabin three days out of Rio, that her true gender was revealed. I, like your good self, failed to take notice of little give away signs like her waxed and luxuriant Gaucho style moustache, and an Adams apple the size of a honeydew melon! they say love is blind, how true. Luckily, I made it back to the comparrative safety of my own cabin before things reached a state of high embarresment. Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.

    ________________________________________
    CAPTAIN KONG………

    Please understand, I was a callow youth, and still not much educated in the ways of the sea.


    That is NO excuse Jeff , my excuse is that I was under the influence of the ANISE

    JEFF GLASSER….

    Kong, you are a cruel and insensitive man, could there be no leeway in that cold heart, I had a sheltered up bringing which kept me in great naivity up until the age of thirty one.
    I hasten to add that I too was under the influence of the same vicious brew, at least you had great age on your side.

    Brian Daley…journals…………….

    I have news that has shocked me. Upon return to my fathers offices when we had made fast the Mudskipper, he gave me notice of my dismissal as 3rd mate of the ship that had been my home these past months. I am to join a vessel that has been especially commissioned for the new South American beef trade. A steamship which will accomplish that which has been the dream of mariners since Magellans time ; to dispense with the vagaries of wind and weather to propel a ship across oceans. It is the Garstonia, a vessel of some 2000 tons nett ; powered by a triple expansion steam engine ,she will cut the journey time by half. She will be ready for service one month hence and I am to attend the School of Navigation in Grassendale to appraise myself of the different techniques of steam and sail.
    I will apply myself with all diligence and also take opportunity to further my researches into the history of the Brotherhood.
    Captain Aspinalls younger brother Julian has been given command of the Garstonia, an envied commission, Mr Brewer, will be his mate, our 2nd mate is a newcomer to the company , a Wilfred Liverbob, an unknown quantity, but he is reputed to be of good report. We will have the company of that new breed of seafarer, the Engineer, I have heard many tales of their eccentricities and have oft wondered if there is some truth to such stories. Steam can have addling effects upon the brain ,or so it is said .This vessel will also carry a totally new kind of human being , the sort that writers of lurid fictions have penned many tales; Electricians! The man who will do the devils work on this ship is a Mr Manderson, a Scotsman to boot , let us hope that he is not too in thrall to Satan upon our voyage.
    The needs of the crew on this vessel promise to be well catered for ,my father informs me that the Garstonia has a galley that is capable of providing hot meals for the crew regardless of the weather conditions . The maestro in charges of our culinary needs is another Scot ,a Mr Kinghorn.
    The Garstonia has the capacity to carry five passengers and has refrigerated hatches, which means that we can carry all manner of fresh produce as well as the beef from the Argentine.

    And so I return to my journal of the history of the Brotherhood.

    When King James the First of England (and sixth of Scotland ) gave sanction to the settlement of Colonies within the Americas , the Merchants of London financed a settlement to be founded in Virginia, this was after the disastrous settlement of Roanoake, a colony organised by the doomed Sir Walter Raleigh. Roanoake came to nought and no sight was ever found of the original settlers. Many tales abound about the fate of those poor benighted pioneers but no one knows what became of them.
    The London settlement ,Jamestown ,however, was successful, the land was fruitful and limitless.
    Our Grand Master was of the opinion that the Brethren should finance a settlement in the New World so that the Society should enjoy the riches that could be found therein.
    After much discussion they embarked upon an expedition to settle the land to the south of Virginia. The Brethren would have no truck with the City and Guilds of London, they were not yet fully beholden to the Stuart King either.
    A Portugese pilot was commissioned to undertake the navigation of this passage and it was estimated that, given the right winds , landfall would be made within the quarter year.
    Three caravels were put under orders and were laden with all manner of provisions, lessons had been learned from the previous expeditions of the French and Hispanic attempts at colonisation.
    Several notable families from the town made applications for the passage and our aldermen, under the guidance of the Brethren, made scrupulous audits of the said families to ensure that they would contribute to the general well being of the venture.
    On the fifteenth of April sixteen hundred and seven , the Argosies set forth upon the Mersey, bound for the New World , fifteen families were numbered aboard those vessels, comprising fifty two souls. The crews would be returning with any prizes that might be found ,gold was rumoured to be underfoot but no credence was placed upon this sailors tale. Our intrepid pioneers were charged to make a township on the shores of this unknown coast, to find furs and timbers, to make a plantation and to bring forth the fruits of this new land to enrich the backers of this venture.

    Their voyage to the New World was one that took great toll upon their number, mal de mer caused a half dozen children to die. The constant retching and the inability to take sustenance caused their little bodies to fade to naught. The constant tossing and turning of the vessels caused two souls to seek solace in the depths of the sea.
    The overwhelming relief of the sight of land brought great joy to all aboard the fleet. On the twenty first of July landfall was made at the mouth of a river that later became called The Catawber ,after the name of the tribe that inhabited its banks..

    White men were not unknown to the Catawbers, the Portugese had fished these waters for a century or more and had traded with the different tribes along the coast. It was here that they caught the cod ,or bacalhau as they termed it. They would dry it on the American shores and had good relations with these Red men.
    As such , our Portugese seamen were able to give us some knowledge of our new neighbours. They had advised our masters of the trade goods we should take to make overtures to the tribes, metal goods we had in plenty. We did not wish to suffer the problems that had befallen previous expeditions.
    So ,our prospects for good fortune augured well, the elders of the Catawber tribe welcomed us and made a great feast in celebration of our arrival ;many gifts were exchanged and we began our preparations for the creation of a New Garston with the coming of a new dawn.
    As we went to our slumbers our children remarked upon how much bigger the sky seemed in this new land.

    Captain Kongs journals……………….

    I well remember that horrific voyage on the steam ship `Garstonia`.
    The engines operated by steam from the boilers. I was engaged as Fireman watertender,. I am a decendent of Michael de Aspin, despatched in a horrible manner by one Jeffery de Glasse in the 17th century, I had fallen on hard times and the other distant relative, Julian, a decendent of Baron de Aspin, who ordered the termination of Michael , felt sorry for me and offered me a position on the `Garstonia`.
    I was shovelling coal into fearsome furnaces, running back and forth to the coal bunkers, filling the barrow and running back to the plates then feed the ever hungry fires. I was working four hours on and four hours off with little sleep in the off periods. To make matters worse, the Second Engineer, a bully with a big iron fist, was driving us continously without a break.
    One day in mid Atlantic, one of us Firemen broke down with the constant harrassment and bullying, and then he snapped. He swung his banjo, [shovel ], and smashed in the head of the bullying Second Engineer. We were shocked at this happening, and had to decide what we were going to do.
    If the Master had found out we would all have been charged with murder on the High Seas and then would be dancing on the end of a rope.
    It was decided to feed him into the furnace that he wanted feeding, we picked him up and fed him feet first into the fires and there he was quickly consumed.
    We all swore that we had never seen him during the watch and it was presumed that he may have fallen overboard.
    At the end of the watch we raked and sliced to make sure the bones were broken up and then discharged overboard in the Ash Can.
    That voyage gave me nightmares for many years after.
    Michael Aspin

    JEFF GLASSERS JOURNAL…..
    Oh yes, what a voyage that was! Little did you know that I was privvy to you and your fellow engine room cohorts' terrible deed concerning the demise of that scurrilous swine of a second engineer. You should be aware that a good steward always knows of gossip doing the rounds, and if none was known, could be sure to make some up!
    Captain Julian was first alerted to something being amiss, when the 'Garstonia' surged ahead to a bulkhead splitting speed of three knots. Calls where made immediately to the engine room as to where the sudden increase in power could have come from, The Chief engineer being on duty, could offer no explanation, but I, lurking in the shadows of the bridge with cocoa for his Sirness, knew that it was at the very same moment that the second engineers lifeless body was fed into the ravenous glowing maw of the furnace. I guessed that the 2nd Engineer's body was, as usual, 95% rum. It would have been this that caused the awesome burst of energy.
    As you say, it was presumed that he had fallen overboard whilst under the influence of that which the Captain hated most, the dreaded alchohol.
    Captain Julian never persued the matter, feeling that the drunken swine had got his come uppence, and I felt it best kept to myself to be used later as some form of blackmail.

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    continued..........................



    CAPTAIN KONGS JOURNAL……

    After the disposal of the Second Engineer the Third took over the running of the stoke hold. He tried to be as bad and as tough as The Second. He did not know the fate of the Second, so after a few bad watches under his bullying, Coalhouse Kelly got a grip of him and lashed him to a stantion facing the furnaces and left him for the complete four hours of the watch, He was screaming for the heat was too much for him, he wanted water, no chance, he would never give us time off for water, let him know what it was like in front of the furnaces for four hours. At the end of the watch we released him and he collapsed, we carried him up on deck and he died due to the dehydration, The Captain not knowing what had happened, thought he must have had a heart attack or something. and logged it as such , The Captain praised us for our efforts to get him up from down below. He was given over to the Sailors and they stitched him up in canvas with a couple of fire bars in to keep him company and to weigh him down in the sea, so he would not return.
    We had a mournful service on the poop, read by the Captain, Julian Aspinall, and then he was slid over the stern and disappeared in a trail of bubbles. Two down.
    The Chief Steward, Mr. Kinghorn, could be next if he did`nt come up with some proper victuals, After three days at sea we were on our Pound and Pint, as per Merchant Shipping Act 1844, All we got was 6 ounces of salt junk, per man, per day, perhaps, and 6 ounces of brackish water, per man, per day, perhaps.
    We had to call in at the Azores, to get fresh water, stores and more coalbunkers.
    The crowd went ashore and found a tavern with some old wenches who were long past the bloom of youth, they were made use of as a way of relieving the tension of the voyage so far.

    Brian Daley…………..
    Look, what does it take to stop the characters writing their own story?
    Now if you bits of fiction don't stop jigging around with this tale ,I'm gonna have to get a big rubber and............................................... ...........
    I have to pick up where I left off and I ain't about to be side tracked so step aside or be erased.
    The Author
    P.S. Did you read that tale where the characters come in search of the author to wreak their revenge on being written so badly.I forget the title but it was quite a spooky tale. Hmmmmm, could write one about the author bumping off his characters. Now there's an idea!!

    Brian Daleys Journals……………
    New Garston

    22nd July 1607
    We were awakened by the sound birdsong ,so loud and tuneful that it seemed to be unworldly. This truly was a heaven sent morn, as the families emerged from their makeshift shelters we found a bounteous array of fruits and fowl that lay upon great bark sheets. A further gift from our new neighbours?
    Our leader ,Jonathan Heald , summoned us together and called for us to give thanks to our maker for delivering us into a land so friendly and full of welcome.
    After we broke our fast the Elders sat in council and made plans for the building of our new town , our trade goods would enable us to negotiate with the Catawba for food and timber, we were conversant enough with the propriety of the customs of these people for our Portugese pilot had versed us in all such matters on our voyage here. These people were not a warlike race ,they were farmers and lived in settlements of great age. The name they give themselves is Yeh-Wah h’reh ,the People of the River.
    We have so much in common, the shore of their river is rich in clay and they are traders in that very commodity. Like our shore at home ,they have kilns upon it and there they fire pottery of such consummate artistry that it would grace the tableboard of any gentlemans home.
    Strange to relate ,they do not build their houses of brick, but of wood which is plentiful.The houses are round and have bark roofs extended families live in each dwelling and a palisade fence encloses the settlement.
    At the centre of the settlement is a large plaza and this is used for tribal celebrations and the games that the men play,a kind of stickball.
    The ideas of savages are dispelled with each passing hour ,these people are clothed and shod in wonderful manner. The men in breeches and jerkins of colourfully patterned hide, their feet are enclosed in hardy leathern shoes. The womenfolk are similarly attired and nary a beggar nor starvling was to be seen. We have a lot to learn here..
    Those of us Brethren who are here as settlers are determined to to marry our knowledge with theirs to the enrichment of both our peoples.

    With the aid of our Catawban speaking pilot ,we made arrangement for a meeting of our Elders and their Elders to draw up a treaty to mark out our settlement. I was not privy to this meeting and worked with the rest of our menfolk at unloading those stores necessary to commence work at building structures of a permanent nature. Our shipmen were to bide with us the while until we had made quarters for all of the families. When that outcome would be depended upon any agreements that could be struck with the Catawba.
    The council lasted many hours and night had fallen before Bro,Heald brought the Elders back into our midst. The tidings they brought were joyful, the Catawba granted us land from the seashore to 10 miles in radius from our point of landing. This was more than we could ever have hoped for and the morrow would be spent in surveying our new land so that it could be parcelled out into equitable plots for living and farming.
    As we went our slumbers we were filled with such dreams , what futures our children would have in this land of milk and honey!

    21st July 1612.
    We had our craftsmen in our number,carpenters ,wainwrights , wheelwrights , potters , bakers, brickmakers , and all manner of handicraftsmen. As soon as the allotments of land had been made we would set to in a communal spirit ,all would labour at the building of our homes. We would be building to designs that that had been drawn up by the master builders in our hometown. There would be no hovels in this Eden, there was space a plenty for us to house ourselves so that each family could grow enough for provender to meet family needs and that of the community.. We had our seeds but there was also the native provender that would meet our needs and then some.
    The parcels of land were allotted to families according to their ability to manage them . Large families were given bigger tracts and so on .None were disappointed. Industry would be our watchword and Mistress Heald designed a coat of arms which was a beehive resting on a stack of bricks under which was the legend Industria . This was to be our watchword, we would earn our bread by the sweat of brow for many years to come.

    We had many people in our settlement now, families had rapidly multiplied and many of our kinfolk from home had joined us now. The Catawba were still our friends but had engaged themselves in war with fierce peoples called Cherokee,Iriquois and Shawnee. We were glad that they were our friends for we heard from travellers of how those other tribes made war on our compatriots in other parts of this great continent.
    We had built a harbour at the river front, it was a poor rude affair ,but as the years have passed we have made constant improvements so that we can now accommodate two large vessels at the same time for the shipment of imports and exports. We have warehouses along the embankment and we have been trading in tobacco and furs as well as the rich timber in which this land abounds.
    As you stroll up from the waterfront you pass the ships chandlers,the sail lofts, the block and tackle manufacturer ,and all those allied craft shops that are needed to keep our merchantmen in good repair and our fishing fleet fit for he worst of weathers. We have the occasional Dutchman or Frenchie come asheltering from the hurricanes that sometimes blow, but ,for the most part our sojourn has been placid.
    We have our own grouping of the Brethren here, our Master is of the Keegan blood and is of very great age, how old is not known,but he has seen many years more than is mans natural span. The medicinal properties of the Oglet clay are said to be his saving . This knowledge is known only to very few. The Catawba view him as one with ages, a man of no time, they venerate him.
    I must cease my scribing for I hear horsemen approaching and the hour is late.

    CAPTAIN KONG JOURNALS…………
    ________________________________________
    We were carousing in the Tavern, letting off steam, if that is the correct word to use, being Firemen, on St Migual Island in the Azores, when we noticed a man sat quivering and shaking with a bottle of grog in his hand. We went to him, “What`s up Mate” we asked.
    He was as drunk as a monkey, he said his name was Kay Evin, an Engineer, he was the only survivor of a Harrison boat that had sunk and he had drifted for six days before being found by the local fishermen. He wanted to go home, we told him there would be a job on the Garstonian as we had somehow lost two engineers.
    In the early hours we all staggered back to our ship and told Captain Julian what we had found. He signed him on immediately, The first thing that Kay Evin said was, “Can I have a sub”. "No chance, now sober up, we are away in the morning.” Said our Captain.
    In the early hours we completed bunkering, the native labour going ashore, the fresh water tanks full, and the Chief Steward had loaded fresh stores. Then we fed the furnaces and got up steam, 180 psi. and sailed again.
    Things didn’t seem any better in the victuals department. We heard that as fast as stores came on board, our Assistant Steward, a shifty character, called Geof Glasse, was passing it over the other side to a bum boat and collected a quite a few pounds for it. No one liked him, he was always lurking and listening at cabin doors, and had a very untrustworthy manner. He was always telling tales to the Captain if he heard any thing the lads were talking about in the mess room.
    On making enquiries about the amount of stores in the store rooms, The Captain summoned the Chief Steward, Mr Kinghorn and the ship`s Cook, Ernest Norris Green. They told him the stores were loaded in St. Migual and checked as it came up the gangway, Mr Glasse was in charge of stowing it in the Store rooms. So it must have been him who knew the where abouts of the said stores.
    Mr Glasse was summoned to the Master`s cabin and in front of the Chief Officer, Chief Steward, and the Cook he finally confessed to selling the stores to the bum boat. The Captain logged him and he was told he would have to pay for all the missing stores and then face prosecution on arrival in Liverpool.
    One day the Third Mate, Mr Twize Daley, went to the Captain`s cabin, just after breakfast and found him on his hands and knees vomiting into a bucket. The Assistant Steward was lurking in the pantry, doing nothing to help the Captain.
    He went to the Chief Officer`s cabin for assistance and Mr Brewer was in a collapsed state having vomited all over his carpet. He gave them a tot of brandy to revive them but to no avail. They both expired. Both bodies were transferred to the refridgerated hold to be kept until arrival in Buenos Aires.
    Mr Twyze Daley and Mr Wilfred Liverbob did a superb job of navigating the Garstonia to Buenos Aires, The British Consul was immediately summoned to the vessel and all the details given to him.
    Our stay in the Argentine was not a jolly one, a funeral had to be arranged through the agent, and all hands assembled at the gravesides. Then after loading a cargo of frozen Argentine Beef and made ready for sea, the Consul arrived with a British Sea Captain who had been living ashore in Buenos Aires, to help to take the ship on its long voyage back to Liverpool.


    The murder of the Captain and Chief Officer of the S.S. GARSTONIA.
    Daily Telegrph, Monday April 13th 1850
    The Murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and Chief Officer Mr R. Brewer on the high seas
    In accordance with the instructions of the Board of Trade, Geoffrey Glasse, Assistant Steward on board the ship Garstonia, was examined before the Sefton Borough Magistrates charged with the wilful murder of Capt Julian Aspinall, and Mr R. Brewer, Chief Officer of the ship, by poison.
    The Garstonia was on the way to, the Argentine port of Buenos Aires, with some five passengers and a cargo of `Gerston Mud` in barrels, on the voyage the Captain and Chief Officer died from the effects of poison.
    The ship put into Buenos Aires and Her Majesty’s Consul decided to send Glasse back to England, on board the Garstonia, in irons, to be charged with the wilful murder of the Captain and Chief Officer
    First witness called was Mr, Twize Daley, the Third Mate,of the ship, who said that during the voyage the Captain was very good to the men and frequently saw to their conditions and victuals.. The Captain and Chief Officer died on Thursday 21st of December 1849
    He told the Court that on the Saturday previous to the deaths, a pig died in an unusual manner, and on that day I saw the prisoner Mr Glasse the steward in the pig-sty feeding the pig
    Mr Daley said he went to the Chief Officer’s cabin and he was sat at the head of the bed vomiting, Mr Glasse was lurking the pantry next door to the cabin. I asked the him what was wrong with the Chief Officer.
    He said, “I do not know, but you will hear about it in time.”
    I went for a bottle of brandy and when I returned I saw the Chief officer on the floor of the closet, he looked very ill. I assisted to get him back to his cabin and laid him on his bed, he did not speak.. I administered a tot of brandy to him.
    Mr Brewer then seemed well enough, but soon after he was laid down again. . He also started to vomit to some extent again and then he expired.
    I went to the Captains cabin and he was on his knees vomiting into a bucket. He was exceedingly ill and weak I tried to get him into his bunk but he fell back and was dead.

    On Wednesday 14th Nov, the ships Cook, Mr Ernest Norris Green, said he cooked the breakfast, a pan of Scouse. and laid some out for the Captain’s cabin, and said, he gave the prisoner, Mr Glasse, the breakfast to take to the Captain`s cabin.about 8.00 am. I was called away and when I returned I found the prisoner there. n the galley again. He was going to take a breakfast to Mr Brewer`s cabin.
    I noticed nothing particular in his manner. When breakfast was ready the prisoner took it to the Chief Officer`s cabin.
    The ‘Scouse’ was in a saucepan, and could easily be got at.
    The prisoner, Mr Glasse, came to me about 10am and appeared rather confused.
    I said, “What is the matter?
    He said, “No, it is all right.”
    That afternoon after the deaths of the Captain and the Chief Officer, Mr Glasse was placed under arrest by Mr Twyce Daley, the Third Officer and charged with poisoning them. The poison had been tested first on the pig in the pig sty.
    On the following investigation, it was shown that Mr Glasse had been accused by the Captain and the Chief Officer of selling the ship`s stores to the Bum boats in St Migual in the Azores. He was severely reprimanded and the moneys for the stores were to be deducted from his wages and a prosecution to be made on arrival at Liverpool.
    Other witnesses were called and confirmed the above facts
    Witnesses, ship’s crew
    Joe Finnegan of Liverpool AB
    Martin Quinne of Liverpool AB
    Tom Black apprentice
    Ernest Taylor of Wigan quartermaster
    Harry Brown.Boatswain

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    continued.......................................

    The case then proceeded
    April 14th 1850
    The Jury brought in a verdict of guilty, to the murder of Captain Julian Aspinall and the Chief Officer, Mr R, Brewer, by poisoning, to cover up his accusations of stealing the said Stores.
    The Judge, Mr Justice Fairley, donned his black cap and said to the prisoner .”You will be taken to a place of execution and will be hanged by the neck until you are dead”.
    On the 21st of April, Mr Glasse was taken out of his cell in the Bridewell and taken to the holding cell by the scaffold in the street outside of Kirkdale Prison,,a crowd of some 50,000 people had assembled to watch the demise of this man. A carnival atmosphere was in the air, women and children were there, a popular song was heard by the condemned man as he shivered in the holding cell at 1130.
    As the hour of twelve noon struck, oathes of damnation were shouted from the assembled crowd as he was brought out in between two priests, his face twitching, his lips moving but not a sound was uttered. He was pushed up the steps and he screamed “Innocent I am Innocent, Holy Mother help me”. The Executioner, Mr Howard, placed the noose over his head and a white cloth over his face. The lever is pulled and Geoffery Glasse drops to his death. He twitches for a moment and then hangs limp, the cloth had been pulled away and his tongue hangs loosely from his mouth. The crowd slowly drift away, the carnival is over. Justice was seen to be done.

    By a strange twist of fate, Geoffrey Glasse was a decendant of Jeffery de Glasse who was hired by the ancester of Julian Apinall, the Baron de Aspin, to take the life of my ancester, Michael de Aspin, exactly two hundred years ago.
    Revenge at last.
    Michael Aspinall.

    JEFF GLASSER JOURNAL……………….

    There was a strange twist to this tale, which was hushed up by the authorities of the time, due to the possibility of great embaressment to those responsible with the security arrangements in Kirkdale prison.
    It seems that the ever resourseful Glasser had, whilst having a last sup of grog with his jailer, slipped a potion made from Garston mud that he had secreted about himself, into the guards pot this would normally have done no harm to the unfortunate jailer, but Glasser knew that if mixed with rat droppings and a drop of the poor quality grog, it would induce a hypnotic trance like state.
    As soon as the poor fellow became incapacitated, Glasser slipped onto his face a mask fashioned skillfully in his own image from a mixture of straw, three day old gruel, and chewed newspaper cuttings. By vomiting over the jailers new face, Glasser new no one would wish to check too closely the identity of the wearer underneath.
    As the time of his execution was only minutes away, Glasser,snatched the keys, unlocked the door of his cell, and made his escape, though not before callousely merging with the crowd outside to see the poor jailer hang in his place.
    Only when the body was taken to the morgue was the terrible deed revealed.
    Once again, the devious Jeffrey Glasser had outwitted those who had seeked to destroy him.
    Having had time to reflect whilst in prison, he realised he had met a clever adversary in this Aspinall fellow, and decided that he would approach him with a plan that if they worked together, the world was their oyster!

    BRIAN DALEY JOURNALS……..

    New Hayes Hospital 1999

    Mr Keegan took a turn for the worse a little after sunrise, I called the duty doctor and he ordered that he be removed to the special care unit. Fortunately ,I was given the task of taking care of his few belongings and so packed away his brass bound casket into a locker in the staff quarters . I removed all the papers ,including the crumpled items ,which were old letters and news cuttings.
    I determined that I would sort everything into date order so that I could understand more clearly that which I had been reading. I had three days leave due and would use them to discover what secrets might lie within those pages. And those pages were in a really sorry state.. Fire and age had caused most damage, there were great gaps in the chronology and some papers had been badly charred so that big pieces were missing from them. I made my first task that of sorting out the news clippings. Most of them dated from the August of 1898, there were reports of the Garston Fruit Companys’ new vessel The Garstonia , photographs of her entering the new dock at Garston and of the Captain on the wing of the bridge were shown alongside the story of her building and of her intended purpose in extending the GFC’s service on the South American continent. Other reports detailed the unrest that was being fomented by troublemakers from Liverpool, the dockers of that port were in dispute with their employers and had withdrawn their labour. Attempts were made to bring out the dockers in Garston to join them in their strike but the men of Garston declared that they had no cause to withdraw their labour. Successive reports showed the growth of unrest around the dock entrances as troublemakers sought to intimidate the local men from going about their labours.
    More men were brought down from Liverpool and major fighting broke out between the strikers and the loyal dockers .On the night of the fourteenth of August a great conflagration was started in the north dock and this rapidly spread throughout the whole dock complex. The militia were called out to assist the Police in fighting the Liverpool hooligans as the fire took a hold on the riverside.. Only two ships managed to escape the holocaust, a small collier and a yardarm. ketch . Three vessel were so badly damaged that they would never put to sea again , they were the Mudskipper, the Alfreton, a square rigger ,and the new wonder ship ,the Garstonia.
    Most of the warehouses were destroyed and a great many lives were lost in the attempt to stem the blaze. There were some reports of the funerals of those who were lost in the fire and of the memorial service that was held for the mariners who had lost their lives whilst trying to save their vessels. The newly commissioned Captain of the Garstonia , Julian Aspinall and his faithful servant Mr Glasser were given special mention by the Bishop of Garston as being ”Heroes, the very best of British blood, they died in the battle against the dark forces…….”
    Upon a closer reading of these items I found that the striking dockers were being held to blame for the inferno; the Chief Constable of Garston , Mr Ballack, was of the opinion that the whole dispute was engineered by Liverpool shipowners who sought to destroy the port of Garston because of the threat she presented to them.
    There was great ill feeling in the borough towards their, now , larger neighbour.
    There were letters to the editor lamenting the loss of such a fine vessel as the Garstonia and of what fine tales cold have been told by the men who would have sailed in her had she made it to sea..
    After sorting these clippings I then gave my attention to the Journal of Kerrigan J Keegan , from the scattered information in the torn and tattered pages I was able to ascertain that he was initiated into the Order of Mudmen in the January of 1899, within a short while he had graduated into one of the senior degrees and was thus made privy to some of their innermost secrets.
    The initiation ceremonies and induction into the senior degrees were undertaken in the hidden cellars of the old Cathedral , a site that had long disappeared beneath the mighty new gasworks.
    He writes of a secret gate in the perimeter wall of the Gasworks and trap door that was artfully disguised within the plant, steps led down to the old Lodge rooms and therein still stood the Golem.
    The Grand Master of the Mudmen ,a man of unknown age , lived down there permanently and never ascended to the surface. He lived in an inner chamber and never appeared with his face unmasked. He never spoke in their presence and an Orator conveyed all messages and communications from him to the Brethren. But his word was Law. The great chemical works in Garston now manufactured the medicines and cosmetics that were obtained from our mud and Garston was now predominant in that field.. By the turn of the 19th century ,both Garston and the Brethren were at their peak, the Liberal Arts and Sciences , Music , Drama and Terpsichorean endeavours were pursued by all and sundry within our great Borough. The Dockers Ballet Corps was drawing great plaudits from the cognescenti, the Mary Ellens dance troupe was now on its third tour of England and the Woodcutters Orchestra was drawing up a programme to draw all the different strands of music and dance together for the celebration of Queen Victorias Diamond Jubilee.
    The documents have become easier to read now that I have put them in proper chronological order and I will pick up the journal from where Kerrigan was copying from the earlier writings of the first settlers in the New World.
    Summer 1999.
    !
    JEFF GLASSER………

    Veeery clever, Brian, Ha! but you don't get rid of us that easy. It was mentioned later after the enquiry, that one of the dock workers helping to extinguish the inferno that the 'Garstonian' had become, noticed what appeared to be two crew members, one wearing a distinctive striped waistcoat and spectacles, the other dressed in the attire of a ships fireman, diving over the stern into the dock, surfacing a short distance later and swimming towards the opposite side of the dock, whereupon they disappeared into the darkness.

    BRIAN DALEY…………….

    It was noted and acted upon,the said pair went off in search of their lost crew mate Paddy and were last seen heading for South Georgia on the "Orca" an old Norwegian whaler. Only you, or your old captain can fill in the gaps. Did you find Paddy or was he taken by the flesh eaters of Bora Bora . Did captain Aspinall realise what his Tiger really meant to him and take him by the tail? Is there life on Cilla Black? Please tell us what happened afterwards

    BRIAN DALEY………./
    The Skull and Crossed Bones

    I picked up the following document by Kerrigan J. Keegan and it carries on the transcription of the 17th century document written in New Garston; it would seem that there are several pages missing for this picks up the thread a month after the passage which mentions the horsemen approaching the house . The page is badly charred and I will set it down as written.

    ………………………the ships were seen to be flying the black ensigns which had skull and crossed bones in the centre. We had never seen the like of which before and knew not whence they came. They were sturdy ,two masted vessels which had gun ports along the sides, but they looked like no men of war that we had seen. Where were they from and what were they doing here, there were no storms that they needed shelter from and we were not expecting any cargoes just yet. Some thought they were merchant venturers come to seek to trade with us, others were puzzled as to why they had anchored off and not sought to make contact with us.
    One of the Catawban elders who was in town with his furs looked out and said they were Buccan, when he was asked what Buccan was he cut his right hand across his throat and spat upon the ground. Almost simultaneously ,the gunports dropped open and a salvo was fired ,falling just short of the waterfront ,long boats appeared from around the bows of both ships and were pulling toward the shore at a rate of knots.
    We were not warriors ,never in all our time here had we needed to fire our muskets excepting for hunting food. We never carried our arms , there was never the need and yet here we were, faced with mortal peril and unable to defend ourselves. Young John Savage ran toward his house to gather his musket and was cut down by a well aimed volley from one of the long boats as it neared the shore.
    We stood defenceless as these Buccans came ashore. They were speaking some form of crude French which one of our fur traders recognised, they were ordering us to gather in the square by the waterfront , more boats came to the shore and there many men ,armed to the teeth with pistoles ,muskets and cutlasses .A more fearsome sight you would never wish to see. The Catawban had made haste from our midst before the first shot was fired and it transpired that he had given warning to the people at the further reaches of town to leave quickly and follow him. They were the lucky ones.
    These roughnecks ranged through our town looting and taking that which struck their fancy; there was no more killing ,John Savage was the only casualty. But what happened was, perhaps e’en worse. They selected the flower of our women and took them to their boats, some young men too were taken, to labour as slaves ?
    Their leader was a tall red haired man with plaited whiskers and a fearsome mien, who wore the finest brocaded frock coat and a silken ruffed shirt ,on his head was a tricorn hat with the finest boas . Were it not for his face you would take him for a fop. It was the medallion upon his satin weskit that attracted the attention of the Brethren, it was a Templar medallion, cast in gold ,it clearly showed the two poor knights astride the one horse. How could this be? Here ,three thousand miles from Scotland and Garston,the only two known refuges of the Templars, yet we were being subjected to looting ,pillage and kidnapping by some who wore this ancient badge of honour.
    Their visitation lasted but the half day and soon they were gone with our young ladies , the future mothers of our settlement, and some of our young men. This was a grievous loss. It was but a few hours after the raiders had sailed that our Catawban friends rode into town ,ready to give battle on our behalf. They consoled us over our loss and urged us to make ready for any future such raids. Our life in Eden was at an end, we must make ourselves strong if we are to survive. Accordingly ,a rider was despatched to Jamestown to give news of what had befallen us and warning of what might happen to them. Intelligence was also to be sent to our home in Garston with as much information of the raiders as was known to us..

    It was many months before we received any news back from Garston, more young ladies came out to join us on the next ship from home. They were undeterred by the intelligence of the raid and were only too willing to join us in our little commonweal. That ship also brought news that Letters of Marque had been granted to two of our Templar friends , Messrs Aspinall and Brewer. They were charged to seek out and destroy the Buccans who had made that dastardly raid upon our settlement and given leave to plunder all who were considered to be enemies of our Sovereign King..
    In the meanwhile ,one of our Brethren conducted researches into the provenance of these Buccans. There was a colony of such persons on the Island of Santo Domingo and they had first settled there many centuries ago ,they were called the Boucans because of their cooking of meat upon spits above fires. They were wild rovers and were considered by all nations to be pariahs, but our Brother knew different. The flag they were flying was called by some, the Jolie Roger, a scholar would recognise it as the Templar Piebald, the flag flown on all Templar Merchant vessels .A flag that had not been seen in European waters for two centuries or more.
    It is recorded in the annals of history that Templars were put to the fire and the sword when the Pope and the King of France deemed them to be too strong, it is known that De Molay and his brethren perished by the auto da fe and that Templardom was finished with his surcease.
    What is little known, is that from La Rochelle ,the bastion of the Templars ,thirteen ships succeeded in escaping from the clutches of Pipin .Five vessels escaped to Lisbon where King Dinis gave sanctuary to them as long as they ceased calling themselves Templars ;they renamed themselves the Knights Of Christ and went on to sow the seeds of Portugals maritime dominance. Five vessels went to Scotland and were given sanctuary by the Bruces ,they provided the armed might that helped them beat Edward Ironsides ; some fled to Garston where they helped build up our merchant fleet and the others? They were those who called themselves The Brethren of the Coast, the Buccaneers!

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