How not to cut down a tree

[Des Jenkins]

I have a book of stuff ups some true some not, this on is supposed to be true.
Three soldiers where helping one of they're mates to cut down a tree that was endangering his Granny's house.
There were three big pine trees very close together and close to her house, but only the middle one looked as if it would come down on her house, the other two were slightly forward of the middle one. OK.
Two of the soldiers climbed the outside trees and put a rope through the branches of their individual tree and the attached it to the middle tree, they then climbed down and walking forward took the strain on their ropes
to pull the middle one away from the house.
They tied the ropes around their waists for better traction.
The third soldier started the chainsaw and cut into the pine, As id fell the two soldiers tied to the ropes were dragged up and through the two outside trees, they where temporarily airborne before they where both brought to earth by the falling tree.
The two privates entered Darwin History either on their way up through the branches or on their way down.
Des

[happy daze john in oz]

Cutting down trees is easy so I thought.
Up the ladder cutting off branches, going great guns until I realized I had cut one of the branches the ladder was up against.
Six months in a moon boot care of the ladder not being stable any more and my left foot having an argument with the ground when landing.

[James Curry]

oops.jpg

[Doug Hardie]

My brother in law did the same ,three back ops later he decided
it was cheaper to get a free surgeon in.
Doug

[Ivan Cloherty]

My brother in law did the same ,three back ops later he decided
it was cheaper to get a free surgeon in.
Doug

Doug it is always cheaper to get a 'free surgeon' in


My son-in-law is a specialised tree surgeon in London, takes on jobs others won't look at because of high insurance rates, which he is quite happy to pay as the rewards are much greater. Not a lot of room in a city when felling trees and they have at times to land in very tight parameters accurately, if they don't, the damage can be in millions

[James Curry]

There is a family across the road from us who have a son in his 20's. His mum was telling my wife and another neighbour who just happens to work for DWP that he has never worked since he left school. Why I don't know. Anyway he was helping his father and a tree surgeon to remove a tree that was in danger of causing serious damage to their home. I bet his mum is popular in the family household now. She had been talking about the benefits he is on and may lose if these new cuts come in.
Maybe if you know your neighbour works for the DWP, best to keep your gob shut about benefits Andria (DWP) neighbour was over last night for a glass of wine with my wife, I disappear up stairs and read my book. They are like a couple of clucking hens when the wine is flowing.
So after she left the wife tells me, guess who is being invited in for an interview to explain how he can chop a tree down but cannot work
There has been a unmarked car sitting parked up a few times now in our road , the driver just seems to sit there doing paper work.

[happy daze john in oz]

No doubt some gov detective looking to see what he does.
Similar incident here some years ago, guy could not work as he had a bad back.
But when a local gov member saw him putting up fence posts he was called in to please explain/

[Ivan Cloherty]

No doubt some gov detective looking to see what he does.
Similar incident here some years ago, guy could not work as he had a bad back.
But when a local gov member saw him putting up fence posts he was called in to please explain/

Well the doctor did tell him to do regular exercise !

[James Curry]

I used to be a keen golfer and there was a lad in the club was often joked about. He never held a job for as long as I knew him. It was said that a stamp in Normans National insurance card was as rare as a Penny Black. He certainly was a good player , got plenty practice. I think he played of a 4 handicap. We used to have a noon Tee off slot and we would all chip in a couple of quid. Always 4 balls and names drew out of the hat for playing partners I never lost a match if I was playing with Norman I was a decent 9 handicap player.
Anyway one day Norman was escorted off the course by 2 big lads, asked why and who are you, DWP inspectors. Norman not seen again for 6 months at the Golf Club. Oddly enough his son was a policeman

[Michael Black]

A guy I worked with had been on the dole for a while when he was offered a couple of weeks work off the books. He had to refuse as the woman across the road worked for the dole office. A few weeks later her husband told him that he had been working with his father in law off the books for months. He couldn't believe it.
Regards Michael